OT, maybe? I may be a control freak!

[Heidi in AK]

I am, admittedly, freaking out a bit. Please forgive me. I don't know what the answer is, and it may be simple.

We started doing LHTH several weeks ago and it is going WELL. We love it. However, we have had such a crazy summer due to getting ready to homeschool for the first time and to the weather (when it's nice in Alaska, you get out. Hands down. There are plenty of days we can't or shouldn't!)

However, we have totally dropped off the wagon when it comes to doing school. I told myself I wanted to just take it easy and do it when DD asks for it. When we wake up, the kids want to watch TV (rather than go outside! Shock!) and it really drives me crazy. My DH says, "who's in charge?" I know he's right, but I think, "well, we're not in school yet and I could really do x - load the dishwasher, whatever," and there goes our day.

Add to that I feel benevolent all of a sudden and want to help everybody. We have some big needs. A 29-year-old friend, Kate, was just diagnosed with MS and her two best friends are PCSing (aka, moving). SO I offered to help her go shopping. The only time I can go is tomorrow morning.

Then, my DH tries to help "do school" by doing experiments with them and applied math problems (if we have 12 pretzels and four people in our family, how many does each get?) and I think, "Aaah! If she's doing school with you, she won't want to do HOD later!" I love that he's trying to help, but he's not helping either. It's just getting in the way so that when I do want to do school, DD is too tired or worn out.

We did read Aesop's Fables today, but that's not part of the HOD plan, at least for LHTH/LHFHG.

We agreed on HOD, and the curriculum choice was really mine. All of a sudden I am feeling totally out of control, like we're going back to unschooling. I really like the HOD plan, and wanted to follow it.

Am I hopelessly a control freak, or how do I work within the constraints being forced on me?

[raceNzanesmom]

It's summer, you're in Alaska, and your kids are itty bitty. Enjoy them! You'll have plenty of time in the artic winter to get LHTH done. Set a time limit on the TV, set a commitment level for helping others, let dh teach alllll he wants, read, make messes, have fun! You have YEARS of formal teaching ahead of you. Don't rush it when you don't have to.

[MelInKansas]

Angie said it all. I'm going to say it in a different way.

You don't need to worry about it. Yes there are some things in your post that probably do need to be thought through. But in general, you don't need to stress and worry about "getting school done." Preschoolers learn through everything. Be GLAD that your husband wants to do activities with her to help her learn. That is the most natural and fun way for her to learn. I wasn't homeschooled, but the reason I love math and am good at it, is because my dad played games with me, did puzzles with me, asked me math questions when we were out and about. It's a very fond memory I have of doing things with my dad.

When all of my kids were preschoolers and we were thinking about homeschooling, we decided that TV as a regular part of our day had to go. It's really an addiction or (dare I say) an idol, for children and for adults. Never mind what all the studies say about what it does for childrens' creativity, etc, bottom line is God says we shouldn't love anything above Him. Of course for our children, this means we have to point them in the right direction, they aren't wise enough to see that on their own. TV detox was difficult, but now we are so used to not watching TV on daily basis that my children rarely ask for it, and they play on their own, I just have to choose the times when they are happy to play on their own to do a few chores and get things done. TV detox now while there are things to do outside would be the best time to do it. It's a lot more difficult when you have to stay inside all the time and boredom becomes an issue (this is us right now, the heat is so bad right now it's really not safe to go out unless you are swimming). I do still let them watch the occasional video or play games on the computer. And they still love it as much as they did, but it's so nice that they don't expect it every day.

Your heart to help others is a great thing. You are modeling Christ for your DD, and that is a very valuable lesson for her. Sometimes it can be too much, but really, I think it's fine. I have done that, called school off because we are going to help someone else instead. Again, for preschool, I don't think it's a big deal.

[mater est laetus]

Feel free to bite me if this comes out sounding rough. That's not my spirit here so please bear with me first.

I may be missing something but I got from the post that you're doing LHTH? It takes like ... 20 minutes. Maybe. Depends on the day. It's ranged from 15 - 30 for us this week. It really bugs me when the children get started wanting to watch a video right after breakfast so I understand (along with the thought that "well, that at least gives me time to [fill in the blank]") but considering how little time it takes I figured out I could throw a load of laundry on and then yell, "Pause the DVD - it's time for a school break!" ("play break" applies too) and we can all run off for a bit to "do school" and then resume regular programming (if they're not entirely distracted and wanting to start something else by then).

Secondly, that "applied math" that your DH likes to do is just life as we know it here. I'm confused as to how that would detract from the fun of doing LHTH on any level. There is so little number work in it that at the very least it couldn't be overburdening the child - unless DH is being crazy intense in his expectations of a 4yo that she is inclined to run screaming at the sight of a number (I actually can imagine this scenario with a first born so it's a genuine question, I'm amazed I didn't have this effect on my oldest). Is she really too worn out to play and do simple crafts? Is it really something you've noticed from her behavior or is it something you've projected or something she's reflecting? Honestly I'm just thinking ... it's LHTH ... it doesn't even count as formal schooling. It's preK fun ... not work - FUN. Something is wrong here. I HAVE to be missing something.

But WHATEVER the case ... she's 4.5 and you sound like me last year when my oldest was 4.5. Honestly, I started LHTH back then and didn't do more than a few units. I started a lot of things that year and didn't do more than a couple of months of any of them. He didn't HAVE to be doing school so I couldn't MAKE myself do school with him consistently. I did try to do a little phonics daily and like I said, the math in life is just the way of things here. There were lot's of "off" days for the phonics but I was at least remotely consistent with that. So here we are starting his official Kindergarten year this year and I finally actually feel the pressure of needing to do school and it's making all the difference in my attitude which (with just a little time) is making the difference in my son's attitude. Oh, and despite not doing anything consistently for the last year (besides a little phonics and that living math), he is doing LHFHG with 1st grade options this year, including his math, because that's where he placed. I do LHTH with the youngers and that's our playful warm up to my Ker's "real" school (he loves to join in with us, just for the fun of it).

SO - I vote with the others to go back to your original plan of doing it as she's interested and just enjoying the year and living life. Fret next year.

[netpea]

take a deep breath and let it go, yes you are overthinking this. In the booh Managers Of Their Homes (MOTH) I read some wise counsel that God planned an orderly creation. His creation rotates through seasons, each season has a schedule of its own. However He has also planned interruptions in the seasons, thunderstorms, tornadoes, hail, etc... So too, He has planned interruptions in our own lives, urgent phone calls, visitors, illnesses, friends in need, etc... A schedule too your day even if only a rough routine helps to guide us through the day and accomplish what we wanted while allowing us to handle the interruptions too. Perhaps a written routine or schedule would help? Your children would soon learn when they could watch tv or when they were expected to chores or when they can run out to play.

Now about the schooling. I think what your husband is doing is GREAT. My husband does stuff like that too with our kids and it really helps you see how they are thinking and its wonderful for them to know this is life not just the "school stuff" Mom teaches us. Try to appreciate it for what it is...

LHTH is a very short program, If you want to do it this summer, it is very quick and easy, but I would suggest doing it first thing after breakfast as a matter of routine. It's a good habit to be it to do your schoolwork before play and TV.

Hope that helps. Now relax and enjoy your summer.

[Busymomma1]

I agree with the others. Coming from the perspective of my oldest now being almost 10... enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!!!! There is sooo much time for formal learning, so keep it loose and fun at 4 1/2. EVEN IF THEY ARE SUPER SMART. LHTH certainly does keep it fun and SHORT. So, if you are wanting more structure or schedule, what I've found is this: IF you make it a priority 1st thing in the day, it WILL get done. If not, it won't. That's how it works around here. AND... I also agree with the others... an involved daddy is AWESOME! Most effective learning takes place in enjoyable, meaningful context, so if she is enjoying working with dad, roll with it!

I'll admit to overthinking it when my dd was that age, too. I added Mystery of History to LHFGH, which seems almost ridiculous now as my youngest child will begin LHFHG this fall. That was my error (and not the only one!)

So, just from the perspective of a few more years down the road from you... enjoy! I hope this makes sense! I have 2 kids needing me...

[8arrows]

I agree with the previous poster that suggested first thing in the morning. LHTH doesn't take much time. I would do it right after breakfast. Also, act excited about it even if you are not feeling it. It is hard to get into a routine, but it is very rewarding. You will have the rest of the day to pursue whatever interests you wish. Now and then it is important to make exceptions to the schedule to help a friend, but as a whole, I reserve our mornings for school. That became more necessary for me as my children grew.

[8arrows]

dp

[Heidi in AK]

Hey friends, yes, bear with me. I had a crazy week, lots of things on it probably need to be outside my boundaries. That's part of my problem. Kids over right after breakfast so moms could go to dr appts, shopping trips for ailing moms.

It's all related to balance and saying NO. We did LHTH this morning and it did take 20 mins. Mater est laetus and netpea, thank you. DD is actually ready for K this year; she turns 5 this week. So we are adding in reading lessons here and there onto LHTH.

[mater est laetus]

Well, happy birthday to your daughter. Congrats!

In that case, I totally understand. I was thinking she was a solid 4.5 and not an about-to-be-5yo. One thing that complicated this past week for me as I'm now doing school with them daily is that they're just not use to this routine and don't know what to expect as far as a general idea of what is going to happen when. I've been all over the place until now regarding when or if school happened and I have to give us all grace and mercy in light of the fact that we are all adjusting to something new. Be patient with yourself and keep working towards your goal. And with LHTH, you still have plenty of time to play outside and help friends!

[my3sons]

This has had some good dialogue already! I was just thinking you may want to do school 4 days a week. Then on the fifth day, I'd do absolutely no school, and do your other outreach things. Maybe Fridays will be the day you focus on helping others or making your appointments or getting groceries or running errands. Those are all things we moms must do too, and I've found if I know I have 1 day coming I am planning on doing all that, I can cheerfully do school consistently the other 4 days a week, because I know Friday is coming (or whichever day works best), and that that is the day I'm going to get to the other things. Just clipping along and doing it right away in the day will help too, and give you such a sense of accomplishment throughout the rest of the day. You are such a sweetheart Heidi in AK - I know you can do this and will be great at it! You're just still finding your groove, and establishing your routine. I wouldn't let the kiddos pick when to do it though - you're in charge m'dear, and you've got the most to accomplish in a week. You set the dates, and they'll not balk at them then either. Have fun with it - it will become your new normal to do school 4 days a week, and then after about a month of this, you and the dc won't remember anything different - it'll just be a happy part of your daily life!

In Christ,
Julie

[Heidi in AK]

Julie - thanks for posting!!! I know how busy you and all the other moms are - thanks, 8arrows, mater, netpea, busymomma, Mel, Angie, and others - so I really appreciate your weighing in. I think I had decided way back to do 4 days a week, but our life has been so chaotic the last few weeks, things were unbalanced, and I think I had to get my own system down to manage getting things done for each week, so things were getting done every day of the week, when I *remembered* that they had to get done, namely, when it was almost too late.

I have a system down by which I have all my binders for different Bible studies and groups on the walls, in sideways document holders, which sit like pockets on the wall in a closet. Homeschooling has a docupocket, and my calendar and general meal-planning etc has another pocket. I address one pocket a day, so that each binder gets touched once a week.

School four days a week is a great idea. I really need that extra day to maintain balance. I think I'll get one of those nifty checklists together so I know I have done everything with DD. We're essentially doing LHTH with the K options.