Be honest- am I doing my oldest a disservice by combining?

[sharonb]

Although my dh really wants my dc combined for content subjects, I'm realizing that HOD is more than just content subjects. There are many LA skills woven into the history/science/Bible plans. My plan was to combine my 1st, 3rd, and 4th graders in Beyond. I bought the Preparing guide so I can use the dictation passages with the oldest two. So, now that I have the guide, I'm more tempted than ever to put dd (4th grade) in Preparing by herself! I'm not concerned about my 3rd grader doing Beyond; in fact, since he's young for his grade (will turn 8 in August), he would fit better in Beyond with his younger brother anyway (he can do extensions starting with Bigger when he's in 4th grade). I was going to require my oldest two to do some extra history reading, plus we are doing Apologia Botany so they are notebooking for that. (And I still haven't let go of MOH Vol 1; we'll just use that as a family read-aloud, I think; well, only if I don't end up using Preparing for my oldest!)

Anyway, as I think about things like vocabulary, poetry study, writing, deeper discussions for Bible, more advanced art projects, etc, I wonder if I'm doing dd a disservice by sticking her in Beyond with her brothers. Sure, she will be on grade level with her English and math, plus will have dictation at her level, but it's all those other little things built into the plans that are concerning me.

I haven't talked with dh about this yet because he's super busy this week. I figured I'd get some opinions here first anyway. Am I stressing over nothing? If I stick with the current plan, dd will be 4th in Beyond, 5th in Bigger, 6th in Preparing, 7th in CTC, etc. Even with extensions, it seems like she'd have it MUCH easier than her brothers! But I know that many have their dc on the upper end of the age range and love it. And I know that my oldest three work great together, so I do think they will enjoy going through the HOD guides together. But I also know from past experience that things can get chaotic around here, and my dd sometimes requests work that she can do independently so she doesn't have to wait for me or her brothers to be ready to start!

Anyway, opinions please! We are going to start our new school year the 1st week of July, so I need to get everything settled very soon!

[cirons]

Hi Sharon,

Honestly? I think there ARE so many skills in Preparing that would be great for your Yr 4 child. I personally love how it is enough for my dd to enjoy but also to challenge her and move her forward at a good steady pace. In Beyond she would be missing out on the narration skills in history, the in depth bible studies and memorisation of verses, the more advanced science development of critical thinking skills and experimentation, art skills etc. This is my personal opinion. All the best.

Blessings,
Corrie

[sharonb]

I wanted to add a little bit more about my dh and his opinions regarding our schooling. When I asked him about combining vs. separating, it was in a general sense; I didn't go into a lot of detail about HOD or other programs. Although dh is 100% supportive of homeschooling, when I start to talk about the different curricula out there his eyes start to glaze over. So, my decision to combine the 3 of them in Beyond wasn't based on dh specifically wanting that exact scenario. He doesn't really care what we use as long as it gets done! So, if I end up putting dd in Preparing, that isn't necessarily me going against what dh wants. Like I said before, from looking at the guide, I've come to see that there are many LA skills woven into the left side of the plans, and I think that dd would benefit so much from being in Preparing. They will still do Botany together, and I'm sure they will listen in on each other's history and storytime. (Is there enough time in the day for that??? Mine aren't the type that will be happy working on math or something else independent while I'm reading history to another. But then again, would I need to keep Preparing's readings a "surprise" for my boys for when they get to it in a couple of years???)

Thanks, Corrie, for your honest opinion. I'd love to hear from others as well!

[LynnH]

I have only done Preparing and CTC, but you are so right there is so much language arts woven into the other subjects especially in the higher guides. The poetry study in Preparing is a fantastic introduction to some writing skills. That study really gave my reluctant writer some confidence. Honestly if you can do it and your dh agrees yes I think your 4th grader would do better with Preparing. The people that seem to get frustrated or end up disappointed with HOD often seem to have their dc placed to low or too high.

[flydena]

I had a very similar discussion with Carrie and Julie for my 2 older children. Originally I was going to put both my 10 year old (5th grader) and my 13 year old (8th grader) into RtR this fall. But, I just did not have a peace about it! I kept asking lots of questions on this message board, and finally came to the realization that I have been doing a disservice to both of my children in the past. I was keeping them together on all but LA and Math. My oldest was being held back, and my youngest was being pulled along...not really getting much out of anything!

After much prayer and discussion back and forth on the issue, and after reading the posts at the top of the Main Board entitled A SERIES OF POSTS ON COMMON QUESTIONS..., I decided to put my 10 year old into Preparing Hearts and my 13 year old into Resurrection to Reformation. I am finally at peace about it, and just received my order with the guides end of last week.

It will be different this year than any other year we've homeschooled! I will be running 3 separate guides (I also have a preschooler in LHTH)! But, I believe this is what the Lord has led me to do, and believe it will be the best for each of my individual children. I also feel like I will be giving them the chance to soar on their own levels! My daugher (10) will finally be at her level and not trying to keep up with her big brother. My son will not be "bored" and uninterested because he will actually get to be challenged. I'm just SO EXCITED now to see how much they each grow!

Hope this helps some. I'm not saying my situation is the best for your family, but when I read your post it definitely made me think of my struggles initially about the same things.

[8arrows]

Remember you chose this scenerio as a one-year solution to please your husband. Your daughter will be on the exact schedule that mine is. We are doing RTR this coming year for her 8th grade year. She has been in no way short-changed. Her work is deeper than her younger brothers because she is older and has had more life experiences. That is one of the beauties of homeschooling. They are all three thriving and doing well at their own pace because the curriculum allows that. Next year, and every year after that, your daughter will have extensions. I think it also makes your life easier only dealing with one set of books. Finally, if I may offer a suggestion from my life, sticking to your plan will please your husband. Now that I have a plan with HOD and just order the next thing each year, my husband does not haave to listen to my constant flip-flopping. He was "glad" to listen, but just overwhelmed, especially when I kept changing my mind. He is a much happier man with a content wife now. I do hope you find peace soon, whatever conclusion you some to, whatever plan proves to be best for YOUR particular family.

[sharonb]

8arrows-
You have a good point there, about dh having to listen to the constant flip-flopping! He hears me talk about programs that I'm just sure I'm going to use the following year, but by the time that year comes along, I've decided to do something else. At least I've been consistent with math and English. But this past year history and science were flip-flopped way too much!

Having the one set of books is nice. Plus I just added all of the Preparing books I'd still need to my cart and it's way more $ than I should be spending right now. I'd have to buy for several units at a time.

Here's the dilemma (which I'll have to talk over with dh some more): dd gets tired of doing everything with her siblings. She really wants to do her own thing. But maybe she'll be satisfied with having some special time, just her and me, to discuss the books I'll have her read as extensions to Beyond.

I think I just need to make my final decision and then stop hanging out online so much. Reading about what others are doing can be encouraging, but it can also cause me to doubt my choices.

[sharonb]

Oh, and 8arrows, THANK YOU for your post. (Not that I don't appreciate the other responses; I'm just glad to have the reassurance that my original plan is fine!)

[sully]

For what its worth, i am one of those people who was dissatisfied with HOD the first time around and had two programs going on with three children. I found it very difficult to have two sets of read alouds, two sets of history etc to deal with and it always seemed that someone was getting shortchange because i didn't have the time or energy to do the read aloud. I got behind on the schedules and it was just very frustrating. I ended up giving up. This time around, i am planning on putting my three together and use the extensions for the oldest. I believe this will work so much better. I did feel like my oldest was always working alone . There may be some things that are a little young, but overall, for the sanity of myself and the entire household, combining the three makes more sense to me. Every family is different so you will need to decide what is best for your family-and for yourself. A content mom breeds contentment in the home!!! Best of luck making your decision
sully

[sharonb]

I just spent a lot of time working on checklists and a daily schedule, and I'm very happy with what I came up with. I am going to stick with my original plan. Now that I see it all on paper, I realize that our days will be full, and it would be hard to add another program. My dc will get their own special time with me when we do literature, plus dd will have some extra assignments related to history that we'll have to meet about.

Thanks again for the opinions everyone. I had some doubts there for a while, but I'm back on track.

[netpea]

After spending the last two years with my kids "combined", I'm very happy to be splitting them back up. This year my 4th grader will do Bigger with Extensions and my 6th grader will do CTC, possibly with extensions but I'm not sure yet. My husband lost his job two years ago and we had to combine the kids and use the curriculum I already owned as there was no money to buy anything. I owned Beyond and MFW Adventures which uses some of the same books as Beyond. I merged the two together and used that for my 2nd and 4th graders with separate LA and math. I was never really sure it was enough work for my 4th grader but we made it work. Someone suggested on one of your other posts to have your children read the boy interest or girl interest storytime books to extend the program. I think that is an excellent idea.

[my3sons]

Sharonb - I think that there is not one right answer here, and both sides of the coin have good points to ponder with your goals in mind. I think if I were you, I'd start with all 3 together, with your original plan's ideas in use, and see how it goes. I'd briefly tell dh that you are planning to start them combined, but that you have a Plan B in mind if it becomes obvious older dd needs to be doing PHFHG instead. You can let him know you already own the PHFHG guide, so it will be easier to see a month or so in, if making the switch would just be better for dd all-around. If you did 2 guides, you would not want everyone listening in on both guides, as this will make your day so much longer than intended. Your younger dc will get to do PHFHG down the road if you go this route, and then it will be new and fresh for them, and in the meantime, your dd will have you all to herself for all those heart-to-heart, and higher level discussions. However, as I said, I think this is Plan B. By letting dh know that you have a Plan A and Plan B in mind, if in a month you switch to Plan B after having seen what would be better for dd in the day to day, then it won't be like you flip-flopped, it will be like you planned for this and Plan B ended up being better. Who knows though, Plan A may be a perfect fit!!! Your dc are within a combinable age range. The extensions are coming. You'll be able to tell once you start - I really think you'll know - but I'll pray about it to be sure. HTH!

In Christ,
Julie

[sharonb]

Thanks, Julie. I am super eager to get started, but I have to wait because my oldest two are going to church camp Mon-Thurs. I am going to start LHTH with my 4yo and 2yo on Monday though! My 2yo asks to "do a project" EVERY SINGLE DAY. I've had to tell her "no" for several days now because I'm trying to whip the house into shape while we are on a break from school. Fortunately she's been content to play "store" with her siblings in the playroom while I organize! I'm almost done with all of my projects, so we'll be ready to start Beyond on July 4th or 5th.