I totally understand, Liz. Thank you for presenting this request to us. I would be honored to pray for you in this. Just know that you are NOT alone. I, too, battle this EVERY month! It can be very discouraging, but all I know is that our Father is perfecting us through this somehow and desires to heal us of maybe past traumas or issues that might be underlying this? Don't get me wrong, I know it is physical, but I also believe our spirits, souls and bodies are all intertwined. Homeschooling tries every part of me. It is almost like the furnace of refining for me, and it is painful at times. Truly. I was even asking my Father today, "Are you sure this is what I need to be doing? Are you sure this is what you have called us too?" It is so much easier to just give up and say, "I can't do this anymore. I WON'T do this anymore." But, we are called to persevere many times in the Word, through many heavy trials.
I am so sorry you are experiencing this, but I want to encourage you that our Heavenly Father knows that it is happening, and I believe He allows this in our lives to bring us closer and closer to Him, more and more filled with humility and a needy dependence upon Him for ALL things. It is a cross to carry in a way, but He can make even this struggle work out for our good. We must cling to the truth that He IS and good and trustworthy God and Father, even when our emotions make us feel in the moment that He is far away or has abandoned us. He has not nor will He EVER! He is faithful and true always.
I do believe in spiritual attacks from the enemy as well, so this morning, I just prayed and rebuked and cast down and spoke truth with a RIGHTEOUS ANGER" and hatred toward satan and his demons. I realized that in the atmosphere, there can be evil influences around us, and we are not wrestling with flesh and blood. So there is the element of that also. I just began to speak TRUTH over the lies that my feelings or other evil spirits were trying to fill in my head, and in the Spirit I cast them down in Jesus Name.
My 4 year old daughter even got in on it and was saying, "Satan is a LIAR! We don't listen to Him! We listen to our Father!" Amen, sister! After that, my day has gotten much better. My boys coaxed me into jumping on the trampoline with them this afternoon, and we had SO much fun together. I laughed and laughed, and found it was a wonderful medicine to laugh!
Be lifted up, dear sister. You will make it through, and when you have you will strengthen others. Even in the midst of the hardships, you will strengthen and empathize with others. You will comfort with the comfort you have received. Homeschooling is NOT easy. Life is NOT easy when we are following our Savior. He never said it would be. In fact, He told us it WOULDN'T be! All the more reason to long for His return! Maranatha! Come Lord Jesus!