How many of you..............

[christyg]

are oddballs like me and DON'T function well on a schedule? This is our second year homeschooling and my second year to type out a nice neat schedule at the beginning of the year and then not follow it.

We have always been a pretty "scheduled" family (just without the schedule ). We get up around the same time every day, eat meals the same time each day, go to bed the same time each day, etc. But for some reason, I think that because we homeschool we have to be on a long, typed-out, rigid schedule for a balanced life.

I woke up this morning WAY earlier than usual worrying about how we have not been keeping to our schedule this year. Schoolwork is not the problem. We get it done everyday by lunch, no worries (thanks, HOD!). The only things that weren't getting done were all of our housework (which gets done easily when we're home ). I also am always frustrated that when we have a schedule, we feel like we are chained to it for even free time. So, I got up out of bed and got out my trusty schedule trying to decide how to tweak it for the hundredth time.

My schedule that I came up with is very neat and organized. I basically have a daily schedule and a weekly cleaning schedule made up. My problem is that our days are not always the same. For example: Mondays we are home all day and then have ballet from 5-6; Tuesdays, we are home in the morning, gone to the park from 1-3, and then home in the evening; Wednesdays we are home most of the day and then have church from 6:30-7:30; Thursdays we are home in the morning, gone to pick up groceries and run errands in the afternoon, and then home in the evening; and then on Fridays, we could be home all day or out at a field trip or party for our homeschool group. I wind up going along with my schedule for a couple of days and then something comes up that doesn't go with it and it gets all out of order. And that drives me crazy! I think that it must be my OCD nature.

Honestly, I think that although being a very organized person, I am just one of those people who does not like being on a schedule. I find that I get a lot more done during the day when I'm not tied down to doing things on a certain day at a certain time.

I've noticed the benefits of this in other areas of life as well. This year, we, as a family, decided not to take on any big positions at church. We have decided to work as a family and volunteer for things as they come up. I am completely amazed at how much more time we have had to write letters/cards, make phone calls, take meals to people, and actually volunteer for more when we had more freedom with our schedule. And, the kiddos are learning so much getting to do these things alongside us.

Are any of you like this too? Just curious as to how those of you who don't like rigid schedules handle your days.

Blessings!
Christy

[my3sons]

I do keep a schedule, though I would say it becomes more of a routine than a schedule over the year. I did not need much of a schedule when I was only homeschooling one child in one guide, but now that I have 3 sons in 3 guides it's become necessary for me to have a routine way of doing things to get things done. I just can't have my dc interrupting each other asking me what to do next or all needing me at once without a slight - or not so slight - migraine setting in. I think that some people/dc function very well without a schedule, and somehow seem to accomplish what they need to and really enjoy their days that way. If things are going well, you are getting all of school done, you are happy with the way things are going, and your dc are functioning well without a schedule - you probably don't need a schedule right now and may never. However, if something is frustrating you or routinely not getting done, maybe just that thing needs a schedule. If it's chores, then maybe just that needs a routine time of being done. Or, if your dc begin to think being able to do things in a non-scheduled way means they can argue their way out of work or skip things when they want to, then a schedule is usually a "friend" to us moms. The end goal (IMHO ) is to be consistently completing the guide's plans for homeschooling and to be enjoying your days homeschooling in a generally happy as peaceful as possible environment. If you are accomplishing that and don't need a schedule to do that - why have one? Having a schedule doesn't ensure a perfect homeschooling journey - but finishing homeschooling each day and enjoying it along the way does. However you can accomplish that - schedule or not - is the goal IMO.

In Christ,
Julie

[ALB]

Well, I am a schedule person, but we happen to live overseas and life just doesn't often happen according to the schedule that I've put in place. We never know when someone will show up, need help, etc. It is a constant struggle for me to graciously let go of my plans to be available to others, and I'm trying to find the right balance of guarding our family and homeschool time but still having an open home. I often wish I had a more relaxed, go with the flow personality, but I just have to accept that I don't and that our Father makes us so differently, according to His wisdom. So... don't think that you're the only one wishing you had a dose of the other extreme mixed in! Whatever type we are, I think we have opportunities to learn how to grow in trusting Him, whether that means developing more discipline with our time for some, or developing more of a trust in Him when our schedules don't work.

[cirons]

HI Christy,

it sounds like we work in a very similar way....maybe it is the control freak in me or the stubborn streak I have, but I feel like if a schedule plans my day, then someone else is telling me what to do all day! (Even though I am the one that made it!)

I am a very organised, scheduled person naturally and we eat, play, sleep at the same time every day but when there is no need to be structured, I enjoy some sponteneity! I like just doing things when I can and hopping in the car when I feel like a drive......I only have 2 kids so it is easier to be a bit more laid back. I am sure if I had to organise a large household, I would need to be a bit more scheduled to make sure things happen. As it is, I have plenty of spare time each day whilst still getting everything done so I feel no need to schedule it all up. I talk to many other mums and I don't understand why they are so flat out....but I have been told before I am too efficient sometimes....what takes someone else 1 hour might take me 15 minutes so I gain time during the day....not boasting, just trying to explain why I might have time left in my day.....I also have a very minimalist kind of home....not a lot of 'stuff' which makes things very easy to keep clean!!! Lol.

You are not weird in my eyes!

[Happy2bMommyof3]

Hi Christy, You sound alot like me. It took me over 30 years to realize that I am a perfectionist and my tendency is to not do something if I can't do it exactly right. I used to say "the only thing I am consistent with is being inconsistent!"..and it was so true! The Lord has really been dealing with me on this and while it is still a big struggle and probably will always be, He is teaching me. My house used to either be immaculate or a disaster with no in betweens, laundry totally done and put away...or either piled 3 feet high, etc...I tried doing the "read the Bible through in one year" once, but if I missed a day for some reason, my compulsion was that I could not pick up where I left off unless I had time to "catch up", which led to a very sporadic quiet time. I have learned to throw out the schedule, I keep a calendar where I list apointments, etc which I look at the night before I go to bed to see how I need to adjust our routine we are used to doing the next day, but other than that I stay away from timing things. As far as house work, flylady.com and her book Sink Reflections has helped so much! My house looks neat almost all day and I do less house work than I ever have...so, more time to spend with the kids!! The only time I look at the clock is school "start" time, lunch time, dinner time, bed time. Everything else falls in between those times and the kids are much happier!!! I would recommend Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley (flylady) and her other book Body Clutter (I'm working through that one now).

Hope this helps!!!!!

[christyg]

I am soooo glad that I'm not the only one!

Julie- Thanks so much for always being so encouraging and knowing just what to say. You are so right! I need to remind myself that God created us all different and what works for one doesn't work for another. And, thank you for reminding me to just do what works best for me and not compare myself to others.

ALB- I know that the Lord is blessing you for all of your time in meeting the needs of others! Thanks for the encouragement!

cirons- Ok, you could be my twin! I am also naturally very organized and scheduled as well. I just have 2 kiddos right now. We also live in a simple home without a lot of stuff. I think that a schedule for us is just overkill. It actually seems to create anxiety for me for everything to be so planned out. I'm sure that if we were blessed with a larger family, a more structured schedule would be a must.

Heather- You could be my twin too (or would that make us triplets? Ha! ). I am such a perfectionist too! And trying to go by a certain schedule just makes things so overwhelming! Great idea about using the calendar and only going by the clock for certain things during the day!

Thank you ladies for all of your help! Have a blessed day!

Christy

[psreit]

Christy,
How about quadruplets? It doesn't matter how hard I try. I just cannot keep a schedule, except appts., etc. that are on the calendar. Even if I make a list of things I want to do on a certain day, something always happens that keeps me from getting them all done. I need to go to Flylady again. I like some of her ideas. Now with the baby to care for, I really need to get a little 'structured'. We finally got a decent day of school in today, but housework suffers. I raised 3 children without a schedule. I do better keeping after things now than I did then, but there is still much to be desired.

What drives me crazy is that I have two adult girls in the household. DD21 doesn't mind things cluttered. She has so much 'stuff'. I am on her a lot about putting her things away and keeping her room picked up. On the other hand, DD22 is the opposite of her sister. Since she went to college, she is so particular. She gets on ME for not keeping things decluttered. So, I'm in between the two, and that makes for a little tension sometimes. I want to get some things done before winter, like washing windows and siding, but it seems like I have no extra time with school, laundry and other cleaning inside. I have cut back on computer time since we have the baby. I have girls here to help with the baby, but I still don't seem to get accomplished what I aim to do. I'm not complaining. I'm just stating a fact. So, I'm probably in a more disorganized state then the rest of you. I want to be a minimalist, but can't get some family members to downsize. I know that would help my situation tremendously. So, your not alone. In fact, there are those worse off than you. Really, I manage to get done what is most important, but desire to make some changes. Just without a rigid schedule.

[water2wine]

I do not function well on a rigid schedule. I do better with check lists and blocks of time. In other words I have an order to the day and I know about how much time everything takes but I do not start one thing at 9:00 and the next thing at 9:15 type of thing. I have just done my first two days of HOD this year with three programs under many appointments and a lot of stress. Still went pretty well. I am looking today to make myself and my kids a new check list. I know what things work best to get done first and who I need to get going first if we want to finish in a reasonable amount of time. Those kinds of things help to know. It is also good to know about how long each "box" takes to do. But the exact schedule thing does not work for me at all even under the best of circumstances. On the other hand I do really well under the worst of circumstances doing it the way I do because it allows lots of flexibility. I think it is all about going with the way you are wired. All the schedules inn the world will not help you go in a direction that is far from what makes sense and works for you. So know yes you do not have to be a schedule maker to make HOD work really well. In fact I find most of it is really all done that it works really well open and go and wing it works well for me with a few kind of checks sort of stuff. That is pretty much how I run the rest of my life as well.

[mamas4loves]

I thought I was 'hearing' myself talk when I read your post!! I cannot follow a schedule. I just cannot. I feel like I am in a box and want to break out of it. However, we do follow a routine. We eat, sleep, and school at the same time. Our morning (that's when we school) runs pretty smoothly because we do the same order of things each day. School is not a problem! But, my afternoons are extremely loose! We have just enough busyness and going places that it hasn't worked to have a scheduled 'home blessing' time. so this is my area of struggle. What I have done (so far) is pick the biggest issues that make the biggest difference if my house 'feels' clean: crumby floors and bathrooms. I divided those two things between my three older kids and did a day by day kind of schedule. So they rotate who cleans the mirrors and shakes the rugs in the bathroom and who does the sinks/garbages and who does the toilet/vacuum floors. This way I am assured that my bathrooms get wiped down once a week. (--it is never on a certain day, but whenever we are at home and I remember and every few weeks I give it a good cleaning). I also purchased a very cheap, but very effective hard floor vacuum that the kids run over the kitchen floor once a day. So my two biggest 'dirt' collectors get taken care of regularly. I am still pretty much trying to figure out a system for everything else. I have tried the clean everything once a week. I have looked at flylady, but she doesn't jazz me up. I have tried MOM. I have tried zones. I'm still working on figuring out what works for me and that is what it is all about. If your schedule is causing stress and you are able to accomplish school and all your outside activities then I would throw the schedule out the window and settle into a routine!

Blessings and thanks for sharing. It made me feel 'normal'!

Jess

[Carrie]

Christy,

The ladies have already done such a good job of sharing! I'll just pop-in to share that I love making the schedule, as I find it helps "me" know what needs to be done every day and helps me think through what the other kiddos will be doing so that they aren't interrupting my teaching time. These are the two most important aspects of making a schedule for me, as otherwise I wouldn't have a good handle on these things myself! After the schedule is made, I don't follow the times on my schedule exactly, but I do follow the same order or "flow" to our day as much as possible.

I find that having a common start time is the most important thing for me each day. (I am NOT a morning person, so this has been a hard realization for me)! Yet, as my older sons are getting older and are now getting up on their own each morning, I am doing better at starting at the same time every day. But, even when my start time is off, the flow of each person's schedule keeps everyone going in the same general direction.

I have also made a point of scheduling more independent subjects last thing in the day for my older two so that if they get ahead of schedule, get up early and want to start early, or are waiting for me for some reason, they can just jump to the end of their "schedule" and work on those subjects. This keeps them from needing me when I'm working with others and keeps interruptions to a minimum.

So, while they do all have their own schedules, and I follow a similar flow each day, this type of flexibility allows all to move forward without having to exactly follow the schedule. I find the time guidelines just help me know who may have been dawdling or daydreaming or give me a nudge as to who I am to be working with when. I do make sure that my kiddos know that their times that they are scheduled to be with me are not negotiable, as otherwise they would love to flit off and do it all on their own. So, my schedule takes precedence over everyone else's.

The last thing I'll mention that helps me the most in getting done on time is that I do not have the computer in the areas where I am teaching. This keeps me away from the computer during school hours. I also do not answer the telephone when we're schooling, which is very hard for me, but necessary. I try hard not to cook or bake during school-time, except for making lunch. The same is true for any other household tasks. I have found that if I cut these things out of our school days, I can honestly finish with all 4 boys by 1:00. Then, we eat lunch and all are free for the rest of the day. This is a H-U-G-E difference from past years, where I could really drag school out by adding in just one task, or post, or phone call. For me it makes all the difference in the time I finish.

Blessings,
Carrie