Concerned about Reading

[tnahid]

I'm getting ready to order the Beyond for my 1st and 3rd grader, but I am a little hesitant about DITHOR with my 3rd grader. I am thinking it may be a little too much or too intense for him. He doesn't really like reading, unless it is something he is really interested in. How labor intensive is this program? He reads well,but I just do not need any more power struggles over reading issues (or anything else for that matter. He is super strong willed!)

Anyway, I am just wondering if this program is really in depth or if it is something I can just read lightly through with him, and have him read to me each day and just orally answer the questions in DITHOR instead of writing the answers all down in the book each day. I ordered another LA book for him called "Language Lessons" that looks really good. He will also be reading a Singapore Science book each day, which I want to have him write a summary of what he has learned from that reading each day in a notebook.

The point is, I really want him to do as much as possible on his own as he can. The more he is responsible for it, the better. The less I have to actually "teach" the better. I got "Teaching Textbooks" for math because it is all on the computer and enables them to be very independent. The things he and I really enjoy together are more hands on, like nature walks, playing ball together, reading to each other, but the actual "mom-as-teacher" doesn't go very well. They are coming home after 2 years in a Christian school, so I don't want to come off with too much or too strong this year. My youngest son I am not concerned about as much at all. He's a very easy, laid back boy, but my oldest I want to be more careful with. We have had power struggles in the past, mainly because of my unresolved anger issues and lack of patience with him, being so head-strong. That is the main reason I didn't homeschool after the 1st grade with him. The Lord has healed me in many ways and is filling me with his supernatural love and patience, but I don't want to put more pressure on him or me than is necessary.

I am at peace with the history and Bible lessons (can do in morning) and the story read-alouds (can do that at bedtime). Even the books that he will read aloud to me, I think will be fine, I am just concerned about the DITHOR. I know it is wonderful, I would have loved it as a child (I have an MA in English, go figure) but my son is VERY different, and I don't want to force him into a mold just because I like it. That will only frustrate us both. He is a very man's man type of boy, veers toward the side of controlling and bullying often, but is very charming and sensitive as well when he wants to be.

Thank you for letting me vent here. (Not that you had a choice really!) But, it's good to have a discussion board like this. I have struggled with feeling like a failure, because we have had the heart to homeschool ever since he was in Kindergarten, but I only did it for a month or two, then sent him to school, and again, we homeschooled 1st grade all the way through and ended up sending them for the next 2 years after that. I truly feel called to homeschooling now and have set my mind that this is truly God's path for us. If you feel the Spirit leading you, I would appreciate your prayers for me for this year's journey.

The Lord is teaching me by His Spirit how to overcome fear and anxiety, which are the root of the frustration and anger I have had. I am letting go each day, and now can say that I am truly experiencing the fruit of that. I believe it will take time to undo some of the damage to my son's emotions and to allow us to truly mesh closely with one another again, but it is already happening, and I can see God's hand in it all right now. It is a beautiful thing.

Back to the question, what do you think? Mainly I am asking how to do all of this with a very strong-willed, explosively angry at times, very intelligent yet very much manly 9 year old who has a determined argumentative, nature, along with a very compliant, joyful natured son, as well as a jolly, hyper, smiley, sassy little 4 year old girl. God's grace is sufficient!!!

[mrsrandolph]

I think the attitudes of the heart would be my primary teaching area right now. Try "Shepherding A Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp It is marvelous.

[tnahid]

Thank you so much for your advice. I have read this book several years ago, but I think it is well worth re-visiting. An excellent book! I wonder if I could make a unit study out of this? Maybe I will have him read it! There is another book that is helping me a lot called "Parenting the Difficult Child" It is giving me many wonderful insights, and by God's precious grace, I am already seeing positive changes. God our Father is so faithful! Bless you!

[gotpeace91]

Sorry I don't know the answer to your question about DITHOR but I have found this DVD set to be helpful in raising my children. http://www.visionforum.com/search/produ ... ctid=86552

[my3sons]

Thank you for sharing your heart here, and I just am so impressed with your having a teachable spirit that is open to the Lord's calling! It is soooo very hard to have a teachable spirit - it is an admirable quality to have and one that is wise for each of us to endeavor to acquire. I think that you will love Beyond! It is a wonderful guide to begin in for your ages of dc, and I think you will all be inspired by the living books used. We have done Beyond twice now, and each time it took us about 2 1/2 to 3 hours each day to do. I personally wouldn't add more things to it, like "language lessons", as that is all already planned beautifully in the guide. The copywork of the poetry, the 1 x a week grammar lesson, the spelling lists and LA activities with those words, and the Storytime discussions will round out LA very nicely without requiring too much writing. As far as reading, I would either do the second half of the Emerging Reader's Set with your ds (maybe starting around Buffalo Bill and the Pony Express), or start DITHOR 2/3 in a low key way. Here's a link where I described how we did that:
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=5788&p=42496

For DITHOR, you can also write his answers as he dictates them to you for him in his Student Book to begin with. Then, you can half it, where you write half in the book, and where you write the other half on a markerboard for him to copy in the Student Book. Next, you can write on the markerboard, and he can write it all in the Student Book from that model. Last, he can just write it in the Student Book, and you can jot down any words he needs help spelling on the markerboard. We've done this progression with both of our dc, and it's worked well. I'd be more inclined to have your ds read the second half of the ERS first though, and then maybe start DITHOR when you finish that in a low key way. HTH!

In Christ,
Julie

[tnahid]

Thank you so much for your encouragement, Julie. I think you are right. I am definitely going to take the DITHOR very slow. I like the idea of just letting him orally tell me about what he is reading, and also possibly starting just with him reading to me the second half of the ERS. I have already ordered those for my younger son, so that will work out well.

About the Language Lesson book, I was actually thinking of just using that book solely for his language arts instead of that part of the HOD. That way it would be something he could do totally independently from me. It is a very gentle, Charlotte Mason approach to LA as well, and I think that may work out better that he has more of his own work rather than too much of me telling him what he needs to do. Yet, I do want to be sure and read to him the History portion and go through the left side of Beyond and possibly the storytime with his younger brother. The more options I give him, and the more responsible he is for his own work, the better he does with it. He is extremely independent and strong-willed, but is becoming more soft to me daily. He begged me to homeschool for the last two years, and I wouldn't, so he is very excited now, yet there are some behaviors and resentment that he still has over it.

My focus this year must be character-building for all of our children and myself, as well as hubby. This is what I feel is most important beyond academics. I am learning to let go of it all...and it really feels good! Speaking of that, any really great curriculum for character study? I know it is covered in HOD, but we might need even more intense study. Thanks!

[sw1ssm1ss]

I want to give a strong recommendation to Cynthia Tobias' book "You Can't Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded)." It is all about Strong-Willed Children and how to work with them. Cynthia is an SWC herself, so she knows what she's talking about! I went to her talk on this subject at the HEAV convention a few weeks ago, and it was excellent, because she can show you exactly how they think, which is very mysterious otherwise, in my opinion! You can find a good chunk of her book (maybe all of the first chapter?) on her web-site, if you look to the left side under topics and click on "Strong-Willed Child."

Also one chapter of the book relates just to Strong-Willed Children and how to motivate them. I think that alone would be worth it! And actually, I think you and he are already getting into some good patterns, because you are have found a way to help him do what he needs to do without getting in his way. That is half the battle!