Jennifer-- First I would like to say, thank you, for your post/reply. It really spoke to my heart, that you gave such a "real" account. It touched on SO many things that have been swirling through my head, you just don't know. One of the things that I especially liked, was what you mentioned about higher learning concerns/requirements, but also their spiritual beings.
This is so, so, so important to me, that they get what they need (and more, to be honest), to have them ready if the day comes, they have to apply to college. That may not be God's will for their lives, and may be one of MY goal's for their lives....but none the less, if it happens, I want them to be amply prepared in all ways.
Secondly, along the way, while we work from day to day, I want their spiritual lives to grow, and be molded through their education. This is something that sadly, has somehow taken a backseat to their education thus far. Not intentionally so, but I have let the academics become so important, that their spiritual learning during school hours, has not been all I would like it to be. Of course they get it at church 3 times a week, and during all the other church related activities we participate in, but not always is it incorporated the way I know I could incorporate it. Not sure I relayed exactly what I wanted to here, but you hopefully understand, somewhat, of what I am trying to say here (I hope). I want to get to their hearts, as Julie said, not just their minds.
I also liked your suggestion about goal setting, and others have mentioned this as well. Julie in the very next post really drove this home for me. It really got me thinking how much I am planning, yet, not really goal setting, if that makes sense.
And finally, bringing my husband more into our goal setting and decision making. And yes, he is more apt to leave the fine decision making up to me, but another thing, he is having a hard time with "change'. This makes it extra difficult for me, who also doesn't do well with "change". I like my "comfort zone", and do not think outside the "box" well.
My dh says he supports me, with this change, but I still feel there is a little uncertainty lingering in his mind, perhaps because I still have uncertainty swirling around in mine.
Once I can make a decsion on which way to go, I can present it to him, tidied up a bit, so to speak, and he can see a more clear picture of how this all will work and fit together.
Julie--
To answer your question about my thoughts of combining both dc in PHFHG....that is actually what my initial thoughts were.
Combining them is one of the goals of our "change" with things. But then I started reading how some people didn't think it was a good idea to combine, or it didn't work for them....which really started getting me looking at CTC for my dd. This takes me away from my original goal, but then it looked more of where she should be, in my opinion. But not knowing the curriculum of HOD and how it works, it does appear I could go several ways with this (flexibility is nice
. But perhaps to keep things "simple", perhaps your suggestion is something I should really look more closely at. And when you say have dd do "as it is written, with all of the LA and math"--could you break this down, even more to me and explain this? Do you just mean follow it with exactly what is suggested, rather than mix it with another math, language, etc. I pretty that is what I am understanding from your statement, just want to clarify.
I will say, I am a bit unsure about the Singapore math. I am not concerned that it is a great math program, again, when I asked "around", I got the, "Yea, we used that before, but it didn't work out" statement. Now, granted, this person I asked, is someone that their opinion I highly value, yet, don't stake my life on....but they used this MANY years ago, and she conveyed to me it was just so "different". I wonder if at that time, there was no option, like there is today, of two versions??? Saxon math worked for them, and that is what I am going to have to figure out. What works for one doesn't always work for another. But of course I value opinions of others, that have been there, (like you ladies), and it helps me to sort through all the thoughts in my head.
Julie-- I will look more closely at PHFHG and all the options that come along with this (when I get my HOD catalog back from a friend that is looking at it) and I am SURE I will have questions
Not that you ever once doubted that. LOL.
THANK YOU SO MUCH LADIES for speaking to my heart about this, and not just brushing me off as just another "newbie", but taking me under your wings, with genuine concern and thought, to your posts/replies.
Thank you,
Lynn
), taking time to write out the goals yourself and share those with your dh for his input at that point, is a wonderful way to choose your curriculum. 
Anyway, maybe some of these things to ponder will help you decide what your goals are and how you can best meet them, because whatever your goals are, there is certainly a curriculum that will meet them.