6yo struggling with directions

[kissesmomof4]

I have shared before about my 6yo being super hyper and this being the first year I really focus on school with him. We have only done three days of work but I am seeing a pattern emerge. He is having a really hard time following directions and doing just what I ask him to do on his written work. For example in the Do It Carefully book he had to trace the dotted lines, he traces the lines and then starts adding lines. In the reading lesson book he was supposed to circle a certain letter but instead he circles them and then connects all the letters with lines. The pages end up looking very sloppy.

Should I be correcting him more and really pushing for him to only do what is asked? I want him to learn to obey instructions but on the other hand he is doing the work right he is just adding his own personal style to it LOL The mom who wants her child to be a success is battling the free spirited mom who wants her child to be free to express himself. I don't know if telling him that his paper looks too sloppy with extra lines on it will hurt his feelings.

You would think that since this is my fourth child I would know what I was doing by now but I don't. This child is just so different from ANY child I have ever met so I often am not sure what to do with him. He is one of those children who is just so different that you know God must have something special planned for them

[crlacey]

I have a DD just like that. She wants to make everything hers with her style. We struggled a lot with this last year since it made me feel that she was not doing the lesson as directed (and I'm a by the book kind of person). What I've found is that she has plenty of time to make creations that are hers. During school time, she is to follow the directions as given. Sometimes I will tell her to go ahead and add whatever she likes, but otherwise we are trying very hard to have her follow directions as given and not add to them without first asking. I'm hoping that by teaching her to follow directions, it will serve as a skill to use later in life in the work force where the boss gives certain directions. Yet by allowing her to ask permission to add more, this is teaching her that she may have good ideas to add to her boss's instructions which she needs to ask about before continuing on her own.

Maybe I'm going about this all wrong though, so I'll be interested to see what others think.

[Candice]

My dd does this also.

I told her that for most school work she needs to follow the directions and should not add extra "artwork". I told her that during math or reading we will follow the directions and move on to the next problem or next set of directions. I struggled with letting her have some artistic/doodling freedom while doing her lessons but, ultimately found that it was just too distracting to let her continue. She would keep getting side-tracked with her funny little doodles and sometimes her doodles would turn into stories etc. Next thing I knew we were totally off-topic/off-course with the lesson! I also told her that during school time she needs to try and be a good listener, and that includes trying to follow directions closely. I let her know that when we do any art or craft activity that she is allowed to express and create in her very own way.
To appease her a bit with workbooks, math and reading etc, I let her place a sticker on any page that has been completed properly. She has better focus this way and loves picking out a sticker to place on her page. It symbolizes a job well done!


Candice

[jenntracy]

my son used to do this more, but not so much lately. He is about to turn six. i wasn't too strict on what he added as long as he did what the directions said FIRST. if it wasn't going to look sloppy, i was o.k. with it. Now when he would make a math page look sloppy, i told him it was unacceptable because i couldn't read his answers easily, even though he had gotten them right. My son likes to put stickers on his pages when he has done a page nicely.

My son is very artistic in nature and i didn't want to crush his free spirit to create, yet i do want to teach him that we do have to follow directions at times or things just don't come out right or work well.

Hope that helps.

Jenn D.

[krismoose]

My ds did the same thing. We insist on him following the directions as given for schoolwork just as we're teaching him to obey everyday directions with the same consequence as if he disobeyed any other direction. We make sure he has plenty of creative time for "art" and he is allowed to ask permission to embellish pages once he's completely done. He's into coloring right now, so he often asks to color in a page in the R&S book once he's completed it. We started about 3 months ago, and he understands the difference, now, between directions for schoolwork and art/creative time and is fine with it. I agree with crlacey, that this is a life skill being trained. He needs to learn to obey the authority in his life, or else how will he learn to obey God? HTH

[my3sons]

What I've found is that she has plenty of time to make creations that are hers. During school time, she is to follow the directions as given. Sometimes I will tell her to go ahead and add whatever she likes, but otherwise we are trying very hard to have her follow directions as given and not add to them without first asking. I'm hoping that by teaching her to follow directions, it will serve as a skill to use later in life in the work force where the boss gives certain directions.

I told her that for most school work she needs to follow the directions and should not add extra "artwork". I told her that during math or reading we will follow the directions and move on to the next problem or next set of directions. I struggled with letting her have some artistic/doodling freedom while doing her lessons but, ultimately found that it was just too distracting to let her continue. She would keep getting side-tracked with her funny little doodles and sometimes her doodles would turn into stories etc. Next thing I knew we were totally off-topic/off-course with the lesson! I also told her that during school time she needs to try and be a good listener, and that includes trying to follow directions closely. I let her know that when we do any art or craft activity that she is allowed to express and create in her very own way.
Candice

These comments really speak to me. I have a middle ds who can be prone to do this. I've found the above quotes to be true for him. He gets too distracted and loses the point of the activity if I allow him too much creativity with assignments. However, on art projects, etc. - as long as he meets the guidelines outlined in the plans, if he wants to add more to it later he can - just not during school time. When I've let him go on and on putting his own twist on things, I've found he finishes late and doesn't give the rest of his school 100% because he's still expecting to finish the same time. If he really wants to add more to it, he has free time later to do that. It's interesting how something that seems so important to him during school time becomes much less important when free time rolls around - which makes me realize it probably wasn't quite as big of a deal to him as he (and I ) thought. There are parameters for doing a job well, and I think it's important our dc learn to meet those. Then, they can add their own creativity to it if they still really want to - but more often than not, I think they like to just have "creative" time in general - where they can be their own artist from start to finish.

In Christ,
Julie

P.S. I was typing the same time as the last several pp's here - they have some good advice as well!

[kissesmomof4]

Thank you for your responses. I guess my mommy instinct that raised the red flag was right. I am glad I noticed this before it became too big of a habit and I can nip it in the bud. Tomorrow I will try to start working on this with him.

[Tansy]

My eldest age 10 still does this... and now in public school having to take tests... not following the directions really hurts her grades.

Maybe if you sat your 6 year old down and pointed out the title of "Do It Carefully". The point of these exercises is to do it carefully its all about following the directions. Then let him go crazy with doodles in art. Maybe reward him for clean sheets and no rewards for his personalization's.

then if he still wasn't getting the point of following directions... the next time he asked me for something I would do it all wrong. like pb&j sandwich without the jelly