Doubts lurking about homeschooling...

[jenhill]

Hi all -

I am 2 weeks away from starting to homeschool my three kids - two DDs (9yrs and 7yrs old) and one DS (4yrs old). I have all my HOD materials and my school supplies ready to go. We are using Bigger for the girls who I will teach together on all subjects but Math and English and we are doing LHTH with my DS. I have (what I believe to be) a fairly decent schedule ready for us. I am really passionate about homeschooling after we experienced what our public and private schools had to offer my kids in the last few years where we live.

Yet I am filled with doubt! I think the craziness of the summer didn't help much - my grandfather passed away and my husband suddenly decided to tell me how unhappy he is with his life. Here I am getting ready to embark on homeschooling (which my DH does support fully) which to me is like taking on a full time teaching job again. And I guess I feel the weight of the responsibility of what I am about to do and my concerns about my DH.

I'm worried the kids (who have been a little rowdy this summer) will drive me crazy. I'm worried I'll run myself ragged but then I'm worried I won't get them involved well enough in a homeschool group or in activities outside of our house. Of course now I am worried about my DH. It just seems like so much to do and think about! And I haven't even started yet.

I guess I am looking for reassurances from those out there who are homeschooling that I am not totally off my rocker. How do I balance it all without getting overwhelmed or is that even possible?

Thanks -

Jennifer

[sewpeaceful]

Jennifer,

First, my friend, breath. I promise you it will be okay - I think we can all agree on that note. I have been doing this for 5 years now - started at the preschool level. I assure you that you are not off your rocker. God brought you to it, He will get you through it.

Now, if I may make some observations and comments? Please take them or leave them but I will offer up wisdom I have heard and wisdom I have experienced:

1. Homeschooling is MUCH different than simply being a stay at home mom. Huh? What I mean is kids tend to do better with routine (let's not use the voodoo word "schedule"). So when you wake up and you have a plan of activities for your kids, they typically stay out of trouble (for the most part - let's not think about the independent child with the science experiment in the kitchen you had no idea was going on LOL!). So don't let the chaos of the summer cloud what is to come for your kids' education.

2. Please give yourself and your children some grace for at least the fall if not the school year. I have heard it can take up to a year to "un-school" (break bad habits, get used to listening to and respecting mom as the teacher, adjusting to educating without textbooks, etc). So when you have that first "yellow school bus day" (the day you would gladly put your kids on the big yellow bus if it would just pull up in front of your house ).

3. If, when you get into this, you do feel overwhelmed, or if you want a gentler step into homeschooling, you may consider getting the older two started and once you have them going, add on the younger.

4. Above all, breath, bring it to God daily. He loves you and He will get you through this. Before you know it, the school year will be half over and you will wonder what you worried about.

Blessings,
Laurie Beth

[jensmom]

Well said, Laurie Beth!!!

This will be our 2nd year and we will also be using Bigger for 2nd grade. All of last school year my daughter would say that she wished she was at "real school". However.....she now says, "No way! I am not going there!"

Finally, she gets it. I am settled into the routine. Life is fun.

Give yourself time to settle in and don't be so hard on yourself. YOU are the best teacher your children could ever have!

Judy

[jenhill]

Thanks for the words of encouragement! I enjoyed looking at my HOD curriculum again tonight. I am looking forward to our new way of learning - for both me and my kids!

I just need to have realistic expectations and not be too hard on myself. I think being back in a routine will really help us all out a lot.

THanks again!

[juliekay]

Dear Jen,

Thank you for your post. It's refreshing to see real thoughts and fears to which we all struggle over! You are in my prayers. I' ve been homeschooling for over 6 years and let me assure you that your kids will drive you crazy and vice versa, BUT the joy of seeing them learn, bonding with them in a way that you never can if they are not with you 8 hours of the day, sharing with them the Word of God - I can't even explain how WONDERFUL that experience is and I am so excited for you to experience that too.

As far as your DH - pray for him - as I am sure you are constantly already doing! It just sounds like he is struggling over issues that only he and the Lord can deal with. Perhaps this is why the Lord has you homeschooling this year. Your DH will see you taking on this new challenge for the sake of your family and the Lord's leading and perhaps he too will be inspired anew in his own life!

As far as balancing it all.... It's the constant game. Thankfully, the Lord directs our paths when we trust in Him!

[Tree House Academy]

Just to let you know that all of the above WILL happen (the kids will drive you nutty at some point, etc) but you can handle it! Homeschooling made our lives so much easier on the grand scheme. Yes, the kids can drive me bonkers...but I have gotten good advice and found ways, over the years, to handle that. Kids will drive you nutty whether you homeschool or not. So, just go into it knowing that there WILL be hard days...guaranteed. However, by the Grace of God, you will get through those...and the wonderful days will remove all doubt that you made the right decision by homeschooling.

As for your dh, that must be hard...for boht of you. All I can suggest is that you do all you can to help him through this. My prayers are with you on that part.

[8arrows]

I am glad you chose HOD. Even if you have to go at 1/2 speed for a little while, you might want to establish a quitting time so that you can be fresh for your husband at this point in his life. Let yourself school the children, breathe for a little bit, and then you should still have enough energy to encourage your husband. I think it is crucial not to ignore our husbands when we get so busy homeschooling the children. Fortunately, HOD is a curriculum that allows you to do both. You will do wonderously! Enjoy your year! Perhaps your and your children's joy as you teach them will put a spark back in your husband's day as well.

[spidermansmum]

Jennifer
We all struggle with those doubts- at least I think we all do.I did have one homeschooler once say that once the descision was made to homeschool she never looked back.For me that was the worst advice I got about homeschooling.I looked 'back' plenty .Somedays with deep longing .The truth is we all have bad days.We also have lots of wonderful days- days when we see them learning something,days when we see that something they have struggled to understand finally makes perfect sense ,days when we get to do the things like baking or building or reading a book that we always invisaged we would one day do with our children because we have the time,we get to see all the first 's ..the first time they spell a word or read a book or write a poem .

[water2wine]

It sounds like you have some very hard circumstances in your life. I think though you made the best choice possible in curriculum. It is very flexible. You can slow it down if need be and work around life as needed. I would put my social obligations to a minimum this year and just focus on homeschooling and having peace in your home. I would also see if I could get my dh to talk with your pastor about his feelings and see if he needs to talk with you together or alone. That might help you tremendously. Above all though start each day in prayer and trust in Him with all your heart. My heart goes out to you. It is devastating to hear that from your dh. I will be in prayer for you and him. But hang in there. Remember his happiness is not necessarily a reflection of his love for you or anything that you are doing. You are on the right track just don't put so much pressure on yourself and let this be the year of simplifying and letting God work in your life. Praying for you.

[Benelli]

I can chime in a little here. My kids went to public school (olders) and private K (youngers) before this past year, and the joy was completely zapped right out of our household. My husband was seeing a very grumpy and stressed Mommy in the mornings, trying to get them out the door on time. And, he was coming home to a "done", still grumpy Mommy in the evenings who was dealing with homework, paperwork from school, behavior notes from the teacher, show and tell, projects and reports, permission slips, stuff to have to sell (fundraisers), stuff to buy (Spirit Wear, paying for field trips, etc.). ALL THAT STUFF that crept into our home from outside school. Plus, the volunteer needs of the schools and feeling like wanting to be connected more to my kids' educations and hearts - so lots of time I was volunteering at the schools anyway. All that was a burden on our family and or marriage, for sure!

Now, my husband senses the peace in our home when he comes home. That comes from routine, and kids who are not pushed, pressured, and who are being taught by the one on this side of heaven who loves them most of all! Our days are most certainly not perfect, but the flexibility, the peace, the ability to teach the kids at their own levels, and seeing the relationships of the kids blossom as they learn together has been such a blessing.

You can do it, and most likely, even in the midst of all you are concerned about, it will end up being easier!

[water2wine]

Having been also at one time a ps mom I completely agree with Lisa. It is not easier and all that junk creeps in and stirs the pot. That is so true. You can do it. HOD is a blessing you will see.

[we6rblessed]

I can relate to your anxiety. Today is the day that the neighborhood kids will be going to school to get their teacher assignments, and pay fee's. I love homeschooling, but I tend to always look back. I do have a very supporting husband who continually encourages me not to look back, and keep my hand on the plow! I remember public school with my kids, and private as well. We are loving Preparing Hearts and growing closer daily. This would not be the case if I were to send them off to school. I desire to have their hearts, not the trash of this world.
My heart goes out to your dh. I would like to suggest you contacting Focus on the Family or Family Life Today. They might have some resources that your husband would be open to, that would minister to him where he is at.
The ladies on this board are really the best.
I know you can trust your heart here.

You are not walking alone!!
~Linda