cbenner0723 wrote:Hello, Julie. Thanks for the advice. I actually pulled Zander, my oldest out of preparing and but him in his brother's book of Bigger and bought the extension package. It is working much better and it's helping my middle son to work harder and better because now he has competition. My oldest loves the extensions but he hates the"extra" work of the recommended suggestions of writing a narrative or drawing a picture. He doesn't mind the oral narrative but I'm trying to get him to write better so I think the written would be beneficial. Do you have any suggestions on how to get him to write without the whine and tantrums?
Oh, that sounds like it is working out well to put Zander in Bigger and add the extensions! I'm so glad to hear you tried that and are finding success! Often times boys come to writing a little later, but Bigger does a super job of gradually helping them to grow and mature in this area. To ease into the extension package follow-ups, you can have your son just write a 3 sentence paragraph summary at first. You can also have him begin with a 1-2 sentence caption for the draw a picture with captions assignment. Rotating the follow-up assignments also helps. For example, I'd probably have the heavier writing for the extension package follow-ups on Day 1 and Day 4 of the plans because Day 2 (science notebook assignment), Day 3 (science experiment and logging it in notebook; history vocab cards), and Day 5 (history notebook assignment) have more writing. It also helped my sons to explain that the 'muscles' in their hands need to be gradually built up so they can write more easily - weight lifters and body builders don't start by lifting heavy weights - they begin with lighter weights, build strength and stamina, and gradually work up to the heavier weights. The overall goal of writing is to equip our children to be able to share their ideas, thoughts, and opinions in a written format, which is a part of many jobs they will hold during their lifetime, as well as many groups or Bible studies they may be a part of at some point.
So, by assigning extension follow-ups like Day 1: do the 3 sentence paragraph summary, working up to 4 sentences the second part of the school year,; Day 2: draw a picture with 1-2 sentence caption; Day 3: orally narrating; Day 4: the 3 sentence paragraph summary, working up to 4 the second part of the school year; Day 5: oral narration, you can help the writing not to be too much in any one given day. You can also alleviate needing to constantly talk about what will be assigned each day. You can also encourage him to approach his 3 sentences by writing one from the beginning of the reading, one from the middle, and one from the end. This appeals to logical children. You can even have him dictate the 3 sentences to you while you write them on a markerboard, and then just have him copy the sentences, working up to just doing it on his own and having you help with difficult to spell words. Preparing Hearts begins with 1-3 sentences for written narrations, and they are guided by the parent in this way, so this would be more in keeping with that approach. Finally, experimenting with kinds of pencils may help - some of our sons prefer clicky, some Ticonderoga, some uniball pens with erasers.
If you make these changes and he continues to whine or certainly if he's throwing an outright tantrum, I would probably view that as needing discipline. If I've really tried to help and encourage, been very patient, and given time for our kiddos to grow into a skill and they still are grumbling, a time out in the corner for a designated time (timer set about 3 minutes usually) without complaint/sighing followed by prayer together usually changes the attitude fairly easily. If not, another time out right away always works. Once I've done this, I usually don't have to again for months and months. Just be encouraged that with time he WILL build up his fine motor skills, and then it will be a joy for you as his mother to have a window into what he is thinking as he shares his thoughts in writing! Looking back at the writing progression I've seen in my own sons through the years, and then being able to read their culminating writing pieces in high school - or even just their prayer journals when they share them - has been such a blessing with HOD! Hope this helps!!!
In Christ,
Julie
