Tears over Draw and Write Through History

[farmfamily]

Does anyone else have this problem??? Both my daughters are perfectionists and more often than not, Draw and Write though History causes tears. It also takes them FOREVER to do.
They usually like the results when they are done, but the process is exhausting, both for them and for me. This is the only subject where we regularly have tears

[LynnH]

I am assuming you have told them it doesn't have to be perfect and just do their best, and that's not working. If you are trying to help them work through their perfectionist tendencies then you might set a timer and tell them to work until the timer goes off and whatever it looks like at that point they need to be happy with it and call it done. If you don't want to do that then I would let them trace the drawings. My ds has dysgraphia and really struggled with Draw and Write at first so I let him trace the drawing and then he would color it it. He did that for about 3/4 of the year and then decided he wanted to try drawing them on his own. I probably made a pretty big deal out of it when he started drawing them on his own. Draw and Write actually became his favorite part of the program each year.

[Nealewill]

I also used a timer with my dd in Preparing last year. I can't remember which guide you are using as this is used all the way up through MTMM. I remember my dd getting very upset if everything didn't look absolutely perfect too. The timer really helped. She had to put down whatever she was doing and move onto something else. Then, after school was done, she could finish it then or finish it the next day. It was 50/50 what she did. But it seemed like after a while she just didn't care as much. Don't get me wrong, her stuff looks AMAZING!!!!! But she wasn't so emotional after a while. For her, I think she needed the break. Now, in CTC, I can't think of one time she has come to tears with these assignments. Maybe she has matured. Or maybe she got quicker. I don't really know LOL. But she has changed a lot from this year to last year and for the better

[Tami]

Great ideas! I have one child who loves Draw and Write but two who don't (both have dysgraphia). I hadn't thought to have them trace the picture!

[farmfamily]

Yes, thanks for the ideas. I have tried the timer idea in the past, but I only brought it out after the child was already distraught. Perhaps they would accept it better if I try it from the beginning!
One is in CtC (but didn't do Preparing), and the other is in Preparing, so they are both on their first Draw and Write books. I hope it will get better on their next round. I think they are both almost finished with them for now. I am looking forward to a break from them! If it isn't better next year, I think I will go to having them trace them. Thanks for the input!

[mrsrandolph]

I bought tracing paper and let them trace their drawing and then color it if the prefer. Much easier to deal with.

[momxnine]

What a great idea to trace it! My son absolutely hates all the drawing stuff. It's a battle to get him to even do it, but tracing.... maybe that would be doable.

[LynnH]

A little more on the tracing. My son is dysgraphic and that is why I allowed the tracing the first year, but I did tell him from the start that eventually he would need to try drawing it on his own. He did eventually make that decision to try it and was so proud of himself when he actually was able to draw something that somewhat resembled what it was suppose to. Some of his were better than others, but as long as I knew he did his best I praised whatever he came up with. I think that helped him not be such a perfectionist about it. I think the learning to draw from the directions is a very valuable tool and truly is therapy for kids with dysgraphia or difficulty with fine motor skills. From a physical therapist view it does a lot to integrate the 2 sides of the brain as well as work on the fine motor skills. As challenging as it was I did keep in the back of my mind that what he was doing was equivalent to receiving Occupational Therapy. This helped me to not take the easy road and let him always trace. In fact my son received a neuropsych evaluation 2 years after using HOD and one area that was surprisingly high was his drawing ability. The doctor was amazed. I am so glad I just didn't "give in" and allow him to trace forever. This year he did the World Geography guide and at the end of the year he had to draw a world map and it was challenging, but what an accomplishment for him and I plan on framing it.

[Tami]

Thanks so much, LynnH! That really helps me!

[my3sons]

I've never had tears over Draw and Write, but then I have all sons. I do have sons with varying artistic abilities. I drew the first 3 steps for one of my sons that lacked perspective (for one of his first Draw and Write assignments, he drew the elephant the size of about 1 inch by 1 inch ). My quickly sketching the first several parts got him started on the right track. Now that son just completed his WH Fine Arts History course, and I could not be more proud of his work! Not perfect, but beautiful for him and as it's never been his thing, particularly beautiful in my eyes. AND, he enjoyed it! This is the result of him doing all of those Draw and Write... assignments, as well as CTC's watercolor painting, RTR's art study, art projects, etc. None of which he excelled at, but all of which he completed from start to finish with my encouragement.

With my ds who has occasional tears when he's missed a dictation passage, I give him a big hug, I tell him it's time to move on, that I'm proud of him, that if he knew everything why would I have to teach him, and that if we wait to be perfect we will be waiting a long time as that's just not possible. AND if none of that makes a dent, I have a tough love approach - I explain that tears are for sad things in life (like losing someone to cancer) or for happy things in life (like for getting married), but they aren't for drawing assignments in history. Time to move on to another subject. I hope something here helps, but press on - everything has a purpose in HOD, and completing it makes the next years better and better.

In Christ,
Julie

[Tami]

AND if none of that makes a dent, I have a tough love approach - I explain that tears are for sad things in life (like losing someone to cancer) or for happy things in life (like for getting married), but they aren't for drawing assignments in history. Time to move on to another subject.

I love this! Thanks so much!

[my3sons]

Thanks, Tami!

In Christ,
Julie

[farmfamily]

I have a tough love approach - I explain that tears are for sad things in life (like losing someone to cancer) or for happy things in life (like for getting married), but they aren't for drawing assignments in history. Time to move on to another subject.

I love this too! Lately I have been ignoring the tears and keep saying, "Just do the best you can." One thing that my girls have noticed is that the drawings look better when they are colored in.

I think I messed up in how I handled this from the beginning. They have always insisted they needed help with their drawing. From the first couple of lines they say it's not right. Often it isn't much like what's in the book, so I have "helped" them by telling them which lines to erase and fix. Or by fixing certain lines myself. With hindsight, I realize I probably should have said, "It looks great!" and encouraged them to just keep going. By "fixing" their drawings I was encouraging their perfectionist side - which they almost certainly got from me to begin with!

I have also figured out that leaving them alone with their drawings produces less emotion (there is no audience), so I make sure not to be around much when there is a Draw and Write assignment to do (even when they beg and plead that they need me)!

Oh well - live and learn! From now on I think I shall only encourage - never "fix" - and if the tears come, I shall give them a hug and then use Julie's approach above! Thank you all!

[Tansy]

I had one child this year Her brother watches You tube videos and draws like a dream. He has some real talent. So when it came time for drawing for her she was defeated before she began. I started her out with tracing and then one day I sat with her and explained drawing can be taught its not pure talent, it should be enjoyable. I pointed out Lewis and Clark's notebooks and how many many people illustrated their own journals it was normal for most people to be able to draw prior to photography.

Then I sat with her painstakingly back n forth showing her how and having her do it. We did this for 2 lessons and then, it clicked. She realized she could draw "good enough". On the last drawing she had she held it up to me and proclaimed it to be great. was the head to big and the legs too long yes but she was satisfied. It think this comes down to contentment with ourselves, and that smile made it all worth while.

[farmfamily]

Tansy,

I realized that it is you who has the wonderful blog with the watercolor tutorials for CTC. I want to thank you so much for these! What a lifesaver these were for doing the paintings this year! In the beginning of the year she was getting frustrated with the watercolor paintings, and I didn't know how to help her. Ever since we found those tutorials she has looked them up herself and followed your instructions with the pictures. What a blessing! She nearly always came over to show us her artwork with a big smile on her face... Even the ones that she didn't like as much she accepted with grace and added them to her collection on the wall above her desk. Here she is with her artwork:

IMG_0860 copy.jpg (163.36 KiB) Viewed 4360 times

She has finished CTC now.

As for Draw and Write - I wish I knew how to help them without making things worse. I feel like every suggestion I make as to how to improve something makes them feel like they're a failure at doing it themselves. On the other hand, they don't want me to leave them alone either. And when I told my younger daughter I liked her most recent drawing she complained, "oh, you always say that!" But maybe I'll try it as you say - sit next to them and draw it myself. Certainly talking to them about how drawing is a learning process should probably help. It's funny my youngest (a boy) is just the opposite of his sisters. He loves to draw & while his pictures certainly aren't any better than theirs, he seems always to be perfectly contented with them. Anyway - we'll be taking a break from all this for a while. Maybe it will be easier later when we get back into school again. I am looking forward to someday hopefully seeing that smile that makes it all worthwhile!