My Son CRIES through EVERY written narration

[mrsrandolph]

Everything written is hard for my son (11). He is in CTC with his advanced 12 years old sister. The only way I have found to do written narrations without the tears is to take notes with him as we read the history chapter...me writing down the events we are notating. Then he uses that list of notes and types his narration. He needs so much hand holding. He is SO SO SO Sensitive and feels "stupid" at the drop of a hat. HELP!

[LynnH]

My ds who has dysgraphia and short term memory issues takes his own notes as he reads on written narration days. He just jots down a few phrases to help him remember the things that stand out to him then uses those for his narration. Do you think he could take his own notes? The other thing you could try is have him read part of the reading and do written narration on just that part. Maybe he is overwhelmed by the amount of things he thinks he is supposed to write. Remember narration isn't a summary. He doesn't have to include all the events that occurred, just the few that stood out to him.

As I just re-read your post it sounds like you are reading the CTC reading to him. Is that the case? Does he have dyslexia or some other learning issue that he needs you to do this? If he doesn't then I would first try and push him to read it on his own so he can have that sense of accomplishment and independence. Once he is doing that then maybe he will feel more confident in his ability to do the written narrations. If he does do some on his own without tears then I honestly would take whatever he gives you. Point out several things he did right and then look at just the first thing on the narration checklist and just see if he is doing that. Don't correct anything else other than that. Once he is doing that consistently for a few weeks then address just #2 on the checklist.

[mrsrandolph]

Yes, he does have some learning issues as well as dysgraphia. I do read them the History.

[Rice]

I would first off read only the section you would like him to narrate (if you look back at the first weeks, she had them re-read the portion they were to do the written narration about - you'll have to read the remainder of the reading at a separate time) and then ask him to give you a summary narration orally (you know, those 5-sentence ones you count on your fingers - or even start with 3!). Scribe for him, writing down what he says, then have him type it himself.

Next you can move to getting him to start with a sentence telling about the event, three sentences about what happened and a concluding sentence (the typical 5-sentence paragraph format).

Eventually move to just writing down the main points of his 5 sentences (as he narrates them orally), then getting him to construct them when he types them, then finally move to having him tell you his sentences and write/type what he just told you. Remember though, that this whole process could take a year or more! It would be nice if it goes faster, but sometimes our kids aren't ready for something and we have to be patient until they are ready, or until they simply get enough practice that it clicks.

Is this your first year with HOD? Have you done Preparing with him? Why do you have your son placed in CTC with the struggles he's having? The reason I ask is that I moved my 12 (now 13) yo son from CTC down to Preparing this year (it was our first with HOD and he was obviously not placed well) and that was the best decision we could have made! Days are still a challenge, but not a struggle, not a frustration for him. His struggles are different than your DS (some dysgraphia symptoms but no diagnosis; and executive functioning issues), but the results (frustration, inferiority, incompetence, etc.) are the same. (FWIW, as you'll notice from my signature that his YOUNGER brother stayed in CTC, but the relief he feels at having a manageable course load made that detail insignificant to him! )

Hoping you can find some hints, if not an actual solution that works!
Blessings,

[mrsrandolph]

He has already done all the previous guides

[Nealewill]

My daughter did great last year in Preparing but then really struggled with written narrations this year at the beginning of the year. She used to drag her feet and would occasionally shed some tears because she just didn't want to do it.

What we did was we scheduled it at her best time of the day. Also, I would hold her hand as much as she wanted. I would also recommended re-reading the portion they are to narrate. My dd did read the entire text to herself but then I showed her how to look up the answers in the text when she couldn't remember stuff. It was definitely an investment of my time but definitely worth it.

[Carrie]

Shannon,

The ladies are doing a wonderful job of helping you talk through ways to encourage your son and to make this task more manageable for him.

I have just a few questions that will help us understand his situation better. In this way, we can advise you even better as we try to help your son gain this important skill without the tears.

In the Preparing Hearts guide, which you shared he had done previously, did he do all of the written work scheduled within the guide? Most importantly, did he do the written narrations weekly within Preparing Hearts' history and within the science plans as well? When doing Preparing Hearts, was he independent with the "Independent History" box and the "Science" box of plans each day as scheduled within the guide? Was the writing difficult for him in Preparing Hearts, and if so did you downsize it for him or omit it? How much of the assigned written and independent work did he do in Preparing?

Next, at the CTC level it will be important that you let your kiddos read their own material for history and science. If they are unable to do it at the CTC level, then each subsequent level that gets harder and harder will have you reading aloud for all of the guides to come. From CTC on up, we are assuming students are reading their own material for history and science, and the plans are written from that perspective. At the CTC level, it will be very difficult for a student to write a written narration on something that was read to him rather than something he read himself. This is due to the difficult vocabulary, along with the inclusion of many names, dates, and places in the text to which the student will want to refer back when writing his/her narration. So, with this in mind, if you get a chance to share a bit more about both of your kiddos' reading abilities who are in CTC that will help us advise you as well.

I look forward to hearing back from you when you get a chance!

Blessings,
Carrie

[mrsrandolph]

Thanks Carrie. I feel like a heel, but my kids were not independent in Preparing. I was concerned about this when starting CTC. WE are just in unit 3 of CTC. My goal was to gradually have them gain independence in CTC as we moved along, hence my reading the history. My daughter could read the history and understand it. But there is NO WAY my son could. He is reading Gentle Ben in DITHOR and having trouble with that. And the vocab and sentence structure of the history readings are complex. Sigh.

I feel like I have failed him somehow. But he has had learning issues since birth, confirmed by Neuro Psych testing. He also has dysgraphia. I just don't want school to be frustrating for him. He LOVES history and Geography, and I want him to continue to do so.

They do the science readings independently.

[Carrie]

Shannon,

Thanks so much for sharing a bit more about your situation. We all have moments where we feel like we've failed our kiddos. The wonderful part of homeschooling is that we have years in front of us in which to change course and try new ways to address our kiddos areas of frustration. So, be encouraged that you have time on your side! I remind myself of this daily! The important thing is to figure out where to go from here.

In looking at your kiddos, how important is it for you to keep them together? The reason I ask is because you could consider having your son go back and do Preparing Hearts without his older sibling and have him do the history readings independently as well as the science and independent history box on his own as much as possible. If he didn't do these things independently before it is possible it won't feel like so much of a repeat, plus when you read material to yourself and follow directions in the guide on your own, often the assignment will turn out differently. Did your son do pretty much all of the projects, activities, and written assignments in Preparing (or did you downsize, skip, or change assignments to fit him better)? The reason I ask is because if you did downsize, skip, or change it may not be as much of a repeat as you'd think for him to do Preparing. Plus, it is possible that in the long haul this will be a better fit for him for all the future guides which come after Preparing.

As far as your older child goes, I would have her start reading the history to herself now since she is able to do it. I would continue having her read her science on her own. I would also encourage you to have her do all of the 'I' boxes as independently as possible, with help from you when she hits a roadblock. You can go over directions with her, but let her have the guide to work on her 'I' boxes as much as she can on her own. This will bless all of you eventually, as your daughter will feel more grown-up and you will have more time to work with your son.

In considering your son's position, if returning to Preparing does not seem like a fit, you could consider teaching him more in CTC than we plan with the thought of moving him toward more independence eventually. I would not hold your daughter back from working independently to do this, but would instead let her do the assignments as close to the way they were intended as she is able. This means you would work more with your son, but let your daughter be more on her own. In thinking through this option, since you shared that your son is able to read the science readings in CTC on his own, I would be inclined to think that he could also read the history readings on his own to some extent. This is because the science readings in Land Animals are fairly difficult and are not as far away from the level of the history readings as you'd think.

You could potentially alternate reading by paragraph with him through the history readings, eventually handing more over to him. Just know that it is alright if he doesn't pronounce everything correctly. Students reading to themselves don't pronounce everything correctly either! If he is able to do most of CTC as written with the exception of the independent readings, this may be an option.

On the other hand, if you end up modifying almost all of his written work in CTC one way or another, and are modifying the readings by reading them aloud too, then I would be inclined to think he is in over his head in most areas and would benefit from Preparing instead. I share this because if you were a new family just coming to HOD for the first time, I would lean heavily toward placing your son in Preparing and your daughter in CTC.

As far as written narrations go, it's a good idea to refer to the Written Narration Tips (Teacher's List) in the back of the CTC guide to help give some perspective on how to handle written narrations. There are some tips in there for kiddos who struggle with written narrations that are very helpful. So, I encourage you to take a look at those as soon as you get a chance. Also, make sure to use the helps within the daily plans of CTC for written narrations as well. Have your kiddos begin by copying the sentence starter provided in the written narration directions box on written narration days, and then have your kiddos answer their way through the questions provided in the box as a guide for their narration. They can honestly write a one-sentence answer for each question and end up with a good written narration. These helps in CTC bow out more and more as the year progresses but are a huge help in narrating to start. They remain in the Preparing box for written narrations all year though, so if you do decide to place your son in Preparing those helps would remain.

I'd love to hear your thoughts as we ponder options for your son. I want his school year to be joyful and to stretch him a bit but not pull him to the breaking point! Balance is key, and kiddos with challenges need a special dose of grace and very incremental steps to higher expectations skill-wise. Teaching kiddos with learning challenges is a special calling, and I know the Lord has equipped you for this task or he would not have given your son to you. It may be that his areas of challenge are just showing themselves a bit more now as his sister is older and is gaining faster than he is (and rightfully so due to her age). Sometimes the gap between kiddos takes awhile to show itself, and it may be that it is just showing itself more now. This doesn't mean it is your fault, it just means this is the course their academic growth is taking.

Blessings,
Carrie

[mrsrandolph]

Thank you for taking the time to advise me, Carrie. I know you are busy. I will pray over all of this and talk with my husband about it more as well. Thanks again.

[Gwenny]

Before I read Carrie's reply, I was going to respond that going back to Preparing for him sounds like a great thing. It's only going to get harder and harder and the guides are so wonderful when they are properly placed. They are wonderful for the child and the parent.

My son in Bigger has always struggled with reading and writing. He still HATES to write anything but he's definitely improving from slow and steady progress. He is writing more and more each week. He started with either no writing in English 2 or maybe a couple of words or a sentence, one vocab word definition and I would write the sentence for him, copying the memory verse over a few days, I would write the timeline entry, and maybe the note booking verse. Now he does about 1/4 lesson writing in English 2, 2 vocab words writing the definition and sentences, copying the verse in one day, the timeline entry, anything he needs to write for science and the note booking verse. There are many times I want to not have him do some writing but I continue on because I know that he will do so much better in the future if I continue to push him. I do try and space the writing out between subjects that don't require writing. He doesn't cry over having to write anymore--used to be lots of tears over a few words. I think he is finally at a point that he doesn't feel dumb because everything is too hard for him. Based on his age he should be in Preparing--but there's no way. I know that after Bigger, he will be ready for the independent things in Preparing.

He loves any drawing and is very talented and he likes the cursive. His cursive writing is better than his print. I'm sure that once he's learned more cursive that will be his writing of choice.

I just want to encourage you that having them learning the skills at their pace is what is most important. It's not so much making sure they have new "content". To go back and do Preparing would help set him on a course of learning where he could thrive. I'm sure that my daughter could have started RTR a long time ago, but she is thriving in CTC. I would rather have it be a little on the easy side for her so she can really let the material sink in and she can learn and grow.

Blessings to you. I know these are hard decisions in so many ways.

[my3sons]

I'll just mention that I have begun to think of around ages 11-12 yo as the 'emotional years' for my sons. Lots of hormones. Unexpected outbursts. Up and down mood swings. This too shall pass. I remember Wyatt going through that at that age as well, and I was shocked. My even keel laid back logical generally cheerful son became unpredictably emotional. I see the same thing in Riley who turned 12 today. So, there is that to consider. However, based on what you've shared about academic placement, PHFHG sounds like a better fit for your ds, and CTC for your dd. From one mom of a son in the 'emotional years' to another - HTH!

In Christ,
Julie

[SnowWhite]

I just want to encourage you as one who has tread the same path. My ten year old son is in CTC, and he did Preparing last year. I would say I even saw some regression in his ability to write narrations over the time period, perhaps partly because he had difficulty understanding the content of the Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome books. Now that we are in the book of John, he is doing written narrations like a champ.

I did keyword notes for him in the beginning (writing vocab for him to refer for spelling and ideas), and later did as a previous poster suggested and had him do an oral narration for me to print on paper and have him type. I believe the comprehension questions actually threw him off- maybe they were not his style. So I began having him answer the questions orally, but not allowing him to use them for his narration. Otherwise his narration became a list of question answers which did not flow at all and represented very little understanding of the material.

[Little Women]

I can't speak specifically to the HOD, as I'm just getting started there, but I have a young adult daughter now who was very much like this. What finally helped her was when I realized that her writing skills simply were 2 years behind. I had been thinking every year, "this year, we will catch up in writing." When I finally said, "OK, she just *is* 2 years behind in writing, and that's just how it is," then I was able to adjust my own expectations for her. I went back and looked at samples of the same program's course for 3rd graders (she was in 5th at the time), and said, "Ok, instead of a whole paragraph of dictation/copywork, I will mark 1 sentence, 2 if they are very short." I changed my demands to be more in line with what her abilities actually were. We still did her creative writing assignments orally, with her telling me what to write and me playing scribe. I was very surprised that within a month or so, she started saying, "Look, Mom, I did a little bit MORE than you said!" Once I wasn't pushing her so hard, she was able to push herself a little, knowing she could do just what she was comfortable with. It took about a year and a half, but eventually, she actually did catch up. Once her fine motor skills developed, she was able to put to use the mental skills she had been honing through her oral work. She is 19 now, and is actually a gifted writer. I truly do not think she would have ever developed that if I hadn't given her that time that she needed.