Moving To Independence

[mrsrandolph]

My 12 year old daughter and 11 year old son are about to start CTC. The problem is that my son has slight learning issues especially in regard to writing. So Preparing was not Independent where it was supposed to be.

In looking at the samples of CTC it takes a pretty good leap even further into independence for the student.

Though my 12 year old could handle the independent parts, I have hesitated to point out the "differences" between her and her brother. I know this would cause problems in their relationship.

How can I gradually move them toward independence with CTC? Suggestions?

[Nealewill]

One that helps my kids is I give them the guide. So if you have 2 kids, having 2 guides might help with some of this. In addition, with my oldest, I would go over all of the independent boxes with her before she did them. I wanted to make sure she completely understood what she was supposed to do. The nice thing about CTC is that there is writing each day but the narrations have questions. My dd still uses the questions very specifically to do her written narration. She just answers them in order and writes her answers down. In addition, for the prophecy, I always have her check her answer against the key idea so that she can see if she is correct in her thoughts. One other thing I do when she has quesitons about what is supposed to do is I have her read the directions out loud to me. It seems like she needs to hear it and reading it out loud helps to slow her down while she reads it. So when she doesn't understand something, I always have her read it outloud to me. And 75% of the time, that solves the problem. In addition, I try to sit ready to help when she needs it. If she is stuck, she can come to me and ask anything she wants and I will help her.

All in all, last year I did push fairly hard for independence with it not really always working out as much as I thought it was supposed too. This year I had assumed she wouldn't be very independent but she is actually way more independent than I thought she would be and she is doing very well with it.

[LynnH]

If he types things will that give him more independence? I know for my ds that makes all the difference. Your dc are old enough that you could have a conversation that we all have different learning styles and strengths and weaknesses. Talk about how as they get older it is important to focus on ways of doing things that make them able to achieve things to the best of their abilities. Any accommodations you make for him such as typing can be explained using this as a context. You don't want to hold her back though because of his challenges. I think that could damage their relationship, because she will figure that out. So let her go and do things as independent as she can. This probably means they do the boxes pretty separately from each other and that is ok. She will gain confidence in her skills and he may also because he won't be trying to keep up with her or feel inferior to her. I have a dd that is gifted, everything is very easy for her. My ds has mild CP and dysgraphia. School is much harder for him. They are 4 years apart in age, but when she was home and schooling he knew that things came easier for her, but because we had openly talked about his challenges he was ok with that. We never compared him to her we just talked about the challenges he faces and we prayed together that God would show us how best for him to deal with those challenges.

[mrsrandolph]

Lynn,
I strongly suspect dysgraphia for my son, and this is holding back his independence.

Shannon (original poster)

[LynnH]

Shannon,
If you suspect dysgraphia then I would really push the typing. I can't tell you what a difference it makes. If my ds has to write it himself or even dictate it to me his answers are not near as complete as they are when he types it himself and has time to think through his answer. It may take him longer to get things done at first if he is slow with the typing, but if he can be independent with the independent boxes then it is all worth it. Also at around 12 my ds needed to have some feeling that he could do things without mom's help. If I hovered and helped too much I got attitude from him. If I backed off and let him figure things out on his own then I got a much happier ds who felt like he was capable of doing things that he knew other kids his age could do.

[Rice]

My 12yo DS in CTC with Extensions has dysgraphia (well, undiagnosed but everything fits), too. I expect him to do cursive for the notebook (history) and everything else he can do in print, type (esp. Extension written narrations) or dictate (especially WWTB and science questions). Some days (when there is more than one thing to do on the notebook pages) I allow him to type that, too.

My son also has trouble with transitions and organization so he works slower than his 9yo brother, also in CTC (possible Executive Functioning problems). I finally (after 7 units trying to work up from 1/2 speed) said that they have 5 days to complete 4 units; if they complete it in 4 days they have a day off, if complete in 5 days that's fine but if they take longer they'll have to do school on Saturday. After 1 1/2 units they're all (DD in Preparing included) on track, even though it hasn't been easy, especially for the oldest. Success! Handing over the responsibility and giving a definite goal where the rewards of meeting it are decided by him has made a huge difference (compared to me assigning work each day to meet the goal). I still do the T boxes with them on the assigned days so if anything is left for Day 5 it is S or I boxes.

In some ways (and this is just me working through it all myself) it seems unfair because it's unlikely that my oldest will get a day off without working 8-4 some days (we generally work 8-12 or 1 at the latest) while the two others will get them off or at least as lighter days most of the time, but on the other hand, that's fair because he has more work (Extensions) and I expect more of him (all research questions answered and higher volume of writing). So, you're not the only one balancing expectations, accommodations for difficulties and comparisons. It may be an added complication for you that the one taking longer will be the younger one, though, right?

Not sure if any of my rambling will help, but I understand how balancing the "independence" of CTC and the need for accommodations for handwriting vs typing vs dictating is so hard to find!

Blessings,

[mrsrandolph]

Rice,
Your "ramblings" were VERY helpful!! Thank you!