Struggling and exhausted! What am I doing wrong?

[theruffs]

My son and I are having a terrible time with Revival to Revolution. We have only been able to get through 3 full units and we started before Labor Day. I am feeling depressed, overwhelmed, exhausted… and I know my son is feeling the same way too. I don’t know what to do! I adore HOD but have no idea how to make it work with my son.

My ds is 14 and starting 9th grade this year. He also struggles with dyslexia, slow processing, working memory issues, and organization/attention. I would love some direction, input, advice, or just a fresh look at what I could do differently.

The first area of difficulty is History. I am currently reading History aloud to him, but he still has a hard time with comprehension. Usually, I read a few paragraphs and stop to check his comprehension and see if he’s following me. Most of the time he asks me to re-read what I’ve just read. Sometimes I will have to read a paragraph 3 times before he gets it. Written Narrations are extremely difficult for him. For instance, we read about Ben Franklin visiting London to see about getting the issue of taxes addressed, and his narration started “One time Benjamin Franklin was on his way to Pennsylvania…” I don’t know where he got that!! So we went back through it the next day and I had him take notes as I read, kind of “Key Word Outline” style.

I assign him the State Study and Ind. History to do on his own, and I’ll sometimes have him do some of the Notebooking activities on his own while I work through Preparing with my daughter. More often than not he has to re-do the assignment because he didn't read the directions or just read it wrong. I know this affects his self-esteem.

He is doing OK with Exploration Ed. Advanced Phys Science, but the Inventor Study is very hard for us to get to because we spend so much time on other things. It would be so great if these books were on audio. All the issues we have with History are also the same with the Inventor Study.

He does fine with Grammar (Rod and Staff 6). I’m starting him on sequential spelling Level 3, and he is doing IEW SWI Level B with some friends and doing fine with that. Literature, however, is a nightmare. We have attempted to use the first Storytime book (Amos Fortune on audible) as a DITHOR 6/7/8 selection, but I found it really difficult to do with him for various reasons. Finally I decided to go with a lower level book and have him read a chapter each time we do DITHOR. Mr. Poppers Penguins has really short chapters, so he reads that aloud to me.

This is hard! He is so sweet, well-mannered, and tries SO hard. I am struggling with this being “High School” for him. Could I go half pace and still count it as high school? If I slowed down and sat with him for an hour per day on history-related assignments, could he still get credit? Say it took us an hour to get through the history reading and NB assignment only, could we stop after an hour and just pick up the next day where we left off on that unit day? Maybe the next day focusing on the Ind History and Project for an hour?

On a positive note, He is doing very well with Videotext Algebra, and Bible has been fun. Also he LOVES building the experiments in Exp Education. He is very tactile and loves putting those projects together. It's one thing he actually looks forward to.

Thank you for any help you can give me. What am I doing wrong? Should we use a lower guide?

Tracy

[my3sons]

Oh Tracy - I REALLY want to help, but before I just throw out advice, I am thinking we'd all know better how to help if you could please let us know what ds did in the past years? I'm sorry I cannot remember exactly. Also, have you always read aloud history and science to him, or did this just become harder in this guide? Finally, has ds been tested for dyslexia and if so, what has been recommended for him to do to help? I think I'd have a much better idea of how to proceed with advice with those questions answered. Thank you so much for your helping us all have the information to help best sort through this all together! We WILL all gladly help then!!!

In Christ,
Julie

[theruffs]

Thank you Julie!

Well, as a brief history, he attended public school from K-4th grade. Early on, before Kindergarten he was diagnosed with apraxia of speech and sensory integration disorder, and put on the autism spectrum by the school district. He is my oldest, so I never considered homeschooling at that point, especially because the school district had him in a specialized class for his speech and other issues. It became clear as he grew older that he was definitely not on the autism spectrum (praise God!), so he was taken out of special education and placed in the classroom with a 504 due to dyslexia and anxiety. Poor thing, he loved school so much, but couldn't keep up with it at all! He was completely lost. It was becoming so hard because he wasn't passing standardized tests and the teachers wanted us to put him on medication for his attention. Around that time, issues with my younger son caused me to consider homeschooling. I pulled both boys out of school and we had our first year homeschooling 5th, 3rd, and Kindergarten. Initially my reasons for homeschooling had to do with my younger son, but it ended up being the biggest blessing because I realized just how much my older son needed it!! I wish I could go back in time and keep him home from the beginning!

I started that year with Bigger Hearts, combining both of my boys. It was a tough, tough year dealing mostly with behavioral issues and the newness of being at home. I actually started him with the emerging readers and way back at the beginning with Singapore to get him caught up in math. I knew that reading had always been a challenge, but honestly I didn't have any idea where he was academically. Unfortunately, I think he fell through the cracks that year. His younger brother would often beat him to the answers and narrations. I could kick myself for not paying closer attention, but his younger brother took so much of my energy those first years (behaviorally).The next year we did Preparing, and that's when I really started to worry about his reading level and his inability to follow the readings. Despite that though, we loved Preparing and had a wonderful time with it.

The next year I bought CTC and tried to start but the readings were so hard for history that we put it to the side and did a few different things, using the Apologia book for science and switching over to Story of the World simply for ease of the reading. The next summer we officially had him tested with a developmental pediatrician and he was diagnosed with dyslexia as well as inattentive ADHD, slow processing speed and short term/working memory problems. Basically he is just slower to process everything all across the board, with both information going IN and with information coming out of him. The Developmental Ped. commended us for homeschooling and said we needed to get him into an Orton-Gillingham type of program. At this time he had just turned 13. So last year (his 8th grade year) we did 20 - 25 sessions with an educational therapist who went through the Linda-mood Bell program with him to make sure he was sound with phonics, filling in some of the gaps for him. She also did a bit of the Davis method with him. When we were done, we had some great tools and felt we had a good handle on how to tackle reading and writing.

This is our first year back with HOD. I decided on Rev to Rev because of his age. I thought he'd be excited about the history time period and I thought he could handle the workload. I knew it would be a lot of reading, but I didn't know HOW much time it would end up taking.

Sorry if I gave ya'll an overload of information! I wish I'd had him tested earlier, and I wish I had been more aware of what he needed in those early years.

Tracy

[LynnH]

First of all hugs to you! Second you aren't doing anything wrong. You sound like a very caring momma who has a son with some learning challenges. If he were in ps he would be on an IEP and they would modify the curriculum to meet him where he is and he probably would have an aide assisting him some during the day to help with the reading and the processing issues. They would still consider that high school for him and he would get credits. So if you spend an hour on history each day meeting him where he is at then yes that is most definitely high school credit worthy. If going half speed takes him a full day because he of his challenges then go half speed. Let him go full speed in things like Algebra.

As far as when he needs to do his work independently I would look for ways to help him with remembering and following the directions and things to teach him to do so he can make sure he reads the directions correctly. One idea is could you highlight each step in the directions in a different color, highlighting only the essential words that tell him what to do. He could learn that he does the one color instructions then when that is done move to the next color. Eventually he could hopefully move to highlighting them himself, but that might be awhile down the road. Or could you number each step inside the box?

When he listens to audiobooks he still struggles with comprehension is that right? If that is the case then for literature I think you are doing exactly what you should and put him in the level where he can be successful. If you think he can listen to a book that is a little higher level, but maybe not as high as Amos Fortune then you could also do that maybe every other genre.

Your son sounds like a very sweet boy that is truly giving it his best effort. I would celebrate that he is not giving up and continues to put forth his best effort. I heard a speaker recently say that when our children are learning to walk and they take 2 steps and fall down we cheer for them, why is it then when they are older and take a few steps in the right direction and fall down do we feel upset and discouraged? That has really resonated with me. I have taken to "cheering" for my ds when he takes small steps in the right direction and I downplay when he falls. It has helped both of us have a more positive attitude about where he is at with learning.

[Carrie]

Tracy,

The ladies are doing a great job of helping you talk through possible solutions. One thing that I am hearing in your post is the frustration and struggle that school is right now for both you and your son. While some struggles are just a part of learning, overall we don't want the entire day to be a struggle, nor do we want your son's high school years to be a struggle! With this in mind, I think some perspective is needed. It sounds like you have gotten your son some help for his reading and have some new strategies to employ, however he really isn't able to get the full benefit from that training right now because the reading is all quite a ways above him. It's also important to note that he would be on an IEP (with modificiations) if he were in the public school, and you are already modifying for him anyway. So, with all of this in mind, I would be inclined to look at the placement chart with fresh eyes and place him where he truly fits, rather than where you desire him to be.

I would be inclined to place him in CTC, which would allow him to complete all the guides through MTMM by the time he graduates. We have had families follow this plan for their high school students in the past, and it would allow him to earn many of his needed credits. Since you are already having to modify anyway, it would be better to meet him more closely to where he is now and proceed forward. If he did CTC, it would be probable that he could do the readings himself. It would also be possible that he could do more of the boxes in the way in which they were truly written to be done. I agree that using a lower level book for DITHR is a good idea. It is important to meet him where he is at and go forward from there, otherwise everything he does will always be over his head.

Correct placement will automatically ease some of your burden and his, by shortening the assignments and adjusting the workload for you. Doing full-speed CTC would be better balanced than doing half-speed Rev2Rev. Taking two years to do Rev2Rev and another two years to do MTMM is not as good of a plan as doing CTC, RTR, Rev2Rev, and MTMM. You can see that you will end up the same place in either plan (by completing MTMM as a senior). Yet, the education he will receive by doing 4 guides instead of 2, and the incremental steps toward higher level learning he will gain will be of huge benefit to him!

I would do CTC as written, except for doing Rod and Staff English 6. I would even be inclined to do the Life Science/Biology as written, knowing this will be an area of modification anyway through the years. I would do the scheduled writing program, WWTB I too. There are so many building blocks in CTC for all areas of education that I think he could really benefit from as he matures. It would be an excellent stepping stone to what is to come.

To encourage you, I'll share that you are not alone in considering doing CTC for your son's first year of high school. While there are many families who have done this in past, I will share that I had a mom who was in a similar situation to yours who did this several years ago and has followed exactly the path you are considering with your son. Her son is now a senior, and she has called each year just to tell us how pleased she is with this path and what amazing changes she has seen in her son's attitude toward school and his ability to work on his own. He is also severely dyslexic and had behavior problems that caused him to be kicked out of 3 schools prior to coming to HOD at the last minute after his freshman year had officially begun. She says he is a new person now, not because his learning comes easily, but because he CAN do what he is being asked and feels good about being able to do it. He does his own reading and writing, even though it takes awhile. He began in CTC partway into his freshman year and did it as written with the exception of doing No-Nonsense Algebra instead for the math.

I know this will take some pondering, and I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Blessings,
Carrie

[theruffs]

Carrie and Lynn, thank you so much!

Just hearing the reminder that he would need an IEP and modifications in public school puts a lot of things back in perspective for me. For some reason I forget and start comparing him to his peers. He has good friends in the youth group at church that are all starting public high school this year, doing band and football and homecoming. If I'm not careful I start to think that he is missing out on things. I also find myself comparing him to other homeschoolers who are so much more advanced. The enemy knows just how to get to me, and it's been like this since Brendan was a baby and he wasn't hitting the milestones when all of my friends' kids were. The fact is, he is a beautiful child of God and I have been allowing the enemy to cloud my vision... He loves the Lord and he has many, many strengths. In fact he is an absolute joy to be around.

I like the idea of going full speed each year and ending with MTMM. I pulled out my CTC guide to thumb through it, and my only real concern is for his self-esteem. He is so proud to be in "high school" and has commented how high school work is so much harder (in a proud way ). The outside of the guide says for ages 9-11... Maybe I am also still having a hard time with that one too. But I understand meeting him where he is and how important that is.

So if he started CTC, would I just have him do everything as written and be able to give him credit for 9th grade? He has been excited to do Exploration Education and has been completing that on his own pretty well. I think just the way it's presented on a computer and how it's so hands-on is what is so great about it for him. I would like to let him keep doing it. He talks about how he can't wait to get to some of the experiments. Would this completely mess up the flow of CTC?

Praise to God that I already own CTC and have this option, because I know that I spent the school budget on Rev to Rev He is sick today, so I have some time to think it through and pray about it.

If we make this switch, he would continue on with Videotext Algebra, Rod and Staff 6, DITHOR 6/7/8 using books within his reading level, Possibly Expl Ed. science , and everything else from the CTC guide. We have started Cat and Dog Theology for Bible (as a family) so I will use that as a Bible credit but we will also do the Bible Quiet Time box with the Illustrated Family Bible in CTC.

Thank you again, and for sharing about the student who did this for high school! I am very encouraged! Do you have any advice as to how I would go about approaching this with my son?

Tracy

[StephanieU]

I think this plan is perfect for high school with a child that struggles with reading/retention.
First, you math is clearly high school level - no question there. If you stick with the MtMM science, it is also clearly high school level. Then language arts are just slightly below high school level for a "typical" student, so again that is easy to justify as high school level for a student like yours. That leaves history. First, HOD's history is above average normally, so even though you are using something for 4th-6th grade, it is above what public schools use for those ages. And with your son's challenges, I think it would meat what would be on a normal IEP. I also think doing it full speed would probably be more than doing MtMM at half speed. And doing CtC-MtMM gives him a full series of history, which you wouldn't have gotten doing MtMM half speed.

[8arrows]

I would stick with the Education Exploration since that is going well. I would drop the other science books. The program by itself is enough for a credit. You can use those books as extra reading if that is a viable option when you get to the next guide (if you switch to CTC now).

[Carrie]

Tracy,

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts as you ponder your son's possible path. I agree with the ladies' wise advice that if the science is going well, your son should stick with it. If the inventor study is weighing heavily on your son, then you can forego that (however it is possible that by shifting to CTC for the rest of his work, he may be able to eventually handle the reading that goes with the inventor study.) So, you can always keep it as a possible option.

As we look down the road for science in the future, we'll have to weigh each year what path will fit him best in that area. Much of that decision will be dependent on what his future plans are and on making sure that he has a balanced science experience that he can handle well. We'll also keep on eye on needed credits in this area. It is likely he will borrow some of the science from the upper guides as he goes along.

Once you begin to ponder this path, you can see as Stephanie shared that much of his work will be at the high school level. As far as the change goes, I would explain to him that it will actually be more work for him to be doing all that CTC asks him to do at full-speed each day than for you to be doing the reading and having to modify Rev2Rev at half speed. I would tell him that others do this path (and have done it) for their high schoolers, which is where you got the idea. Then, it would also be good to share with him that he will complete four guides this way instead of two guides (each half-speed over two years). This will help him know that he is not being shortchanged in the educational department but will actually complete more work over his high school career and be better balanced. Tell him it won't be easy, but together you can rise to the challenge.

Should he make incredible strides, we can always re-evaluate every year to make sure the placement suits him well. For now, I think this will be a good fit for him in so many ways. It is true that the Rod and Staff English 6/WWTB I/DITHR will be a good English credit for grade 9. His VideoText Algebra will give him the needed math credit. His EEducation will give him the needed physical science high school credit (with lab). With the additional material your family is using for Bible, he can earn Bible credit there (when combined with what is in CTC). It will be fine to give him one-full credit for the history (owing to the fact that he would be on an IEP were he in a public high school at this point). As he progresses through the guides, you can also award a 1/4 credit each year for geography, culminating in one-full geography credit by his senior year (due to the large amount of mapping and other geography related topics scheduled throughout the four years of the study from CTC-MTMM.) If ever asked to prove the geography credit, it is very easy to do by taking all 4 completed student notebooks to show (which include the extensive mapping)!

Feel free to share any thoughts!

Blessings,
Carrie

[my3sons]

Tracy - thank you so much for sharing here, and I am sorry am just getting back to you! In the meantime though, you have gotten some very sage advice. I agree - I would place ds in CTC through MTMM for high school. Keep in mind that a student completing the parts of an earlier guide more independently can often times be more 'work' for the student and as such 'higher level work' than a student completing an older guide very dependent upon the teacher to do the reading, the writing, the connections, the explaining etc. for the student. So, CTC through MTMM for high school could very well be more challenging and provide excellent work for ds than doing older guides with you doing more of the work for ds. I would share this with your ds, so he understands his role is shifting and increased successful independence ups the learning no matter what guide he is doing. This is important preparation for post high school work, whatever that next step may be.

On a side note - I long for you to ENJOY your high school years together most of all!!! As mother and son, these years are precious time together. They are not forever, and they are numbered. Memories of good times spent together homeschooling and a joyful experience overall are important rather than pushing through this or that level that may just be too difficult, especially considering ds's challenges. The subjects you mentioned that ds is enjoying - I would ponder if he is largely successfully doing them well or if you are having to do a lot of helping or stepping in to make them a success. If he is doing them well, I would continue doing them. If he could be more successful and feel the confidence of working more independently with CTC's science or whichever subject this pertains to, then I would make the switch to CTC for that as well. Sometimes just really paying attention and observing for a week how a particular subject is going has given me the insight what would be best. I did this with math, I remember, for my oldest when he was doing Discovering Math 7A. After a week of really watching and reflecting on the time it was taking us, the amount of angst it was causing him, the level of help I had to give each day, we made the switch to Foerster's Algebra I instead, and we were both so relieved and happy moving forward. I think with a little careful observation, contemplation, and prayer, those subjects you mentioned will make themselves known which to continue with and which to make a switch. What are your thoughts though? I know it's a lot to take in, but I have a hunch that after you make this switch, the birds will be singing again, the days will be brighter, and the joy of homeschooling will begin to shine through again!!!

In Christ,
Julie

[psreit]

Tracy,
Thank you so much for starting this thread. I have been away because we are not currently using HOD, but I stop by once in a while. I stopped using HOD with my daughter for basically the same reasons your son is having struggles.....dyslexia, among other processing and attention difficulties. She REALLY struggles in math.

Now, for anyone who wants to give any thoughts about this, here is my situation. I am thinking about what to do for next year, which will be grade 6 for my daughter. I had thought about CTC, but every time I look at the books scheduled in that guide and the ones following, I just think we will wind up having to stop again. We did LHFHG in 1st, BLHFHG in 2nd, half of Bigger in 3rd grade (that's when the learning problems really started surfacing), and then a small part of Preparing in 4th grade. I was throwing my hands up, not knowing what to do to help her. This year I decided to focus on math, reading, and writing, so I am just using a hodgepodge of curricula. Angie has finally improved very much in her reading, although she is still not reading independently. She has even made some progress in her math! Her attitude about school has improved significantly. I am wondering, after what has been said here, if maybe Angie would do well with HOD if I took her back to Bigger in 6th. I have found it difficult to finish a guide in one year, so if she begins Bigger in 6th, by the time she would reach high school, she would probably be ready for CTC, similar to what Tracy is looking at doing. Even though we went through half of Bigger in 3rd, that was a difficult year all around, so I don't think repeating would be a bad thing. Although I am fine with what we are doing this year, I know I am going to need something more structured in the years to come. I want Angie to have a well-rounded curriculum, for my peace of mind, as well as for making sure she is reaching her potential.

I really could use some advice. You moms who have been here for years know how much I have appreciated HOD. That is why I keep coming back. Now that I feel I have a handle on my daughter's challenges, I need to get her on a consistent path for her remaining years of academic education. My coming and going was not discontentment with HOD, but just the difficulties in knowing what and how Angie needed to be taught. Yes, there would need to be adjustments. But, now that I am seeing progress, I believe I will know how better to modify things, if need be. So, would going back to Bigger be a good solution? Angie will have the remainder of this year to become even more fluent in her reading and maybe gain a little independence in that area. She knows how to do cursive and does very well with copywork. I know there was a lot missed by only doing half of Bigger, so this would put her back on the path to completing each guide. Am I thinking this through appropriately? Help is appreciated. Carrie and Julie, I am sorry for flip-flopping, but it's been difficult making decisions in this area. I think we are finally on the road to progress. Slowly, but progressing. I'd love to hear from you as well.

[theruffs]

Well.... I made the switch yesterday! Tuesday, he was not feeling well and didn't do any school work. I had time to pull everything out and look through CTC again. He asked me what I was doing and I told him that I felt he might enjoy trying CTC again, putting Rev to Rev to the side for a while. He let out a HUGE sigh of relief when I told him that we were done (for now) with the inventor study and George Washington's World.

We started Wednesday morning and WOW! What a difference! He read the history out loud to me.. I helped a little when he got tired and read a paragraph here and there for him, but the reading level and length ended up being perfect. He completed the History Project box on his own and enjoyed it. We actually finished Unit 1 Day 1 within an actual day. I am so grateful for this advice. It is JUST what he needed. I don't think I would have ever considered CTC on my own.

I am so excited to keep working through CTC with him. Julie, you make a great point about enjoying the high school years. I completely agree that this is a very special time. I want to savor every moment.

psreit, I am glad you were able to ask advice for your daughter's situation as well. During the past two days of having my son work in a lower guide, the difference has been remarkable. I would urge you to give Bigger or Preparing a try again! I'm sure that Carrie and Julie will be able to give you some insight as to which guide your daughter would do well in!

Thank you ladies SO much for the wonderful advice that you have given me. And for the blessing of HOD!!

Tracy

[psreit]

Thanks Tracy. Your story is encouraging to me.
I didn't mean to hijack your thread. It's here because your situation is what led me to question my own. I have some time to think this through, since I truly need to just keep my daughter doing what she is doing right now to help her gain more confidence and fluency in her reading and writing, and continue to develop a more positive attitude about school in general. Maybe I will have a better idea of where she would fit when we finish this school year. I was thinking that going back to Preparing maybe would work too. We'll see what happens.

Pam

[my3sons]

Well.... I made the switch yesterday! ...We started Wednesday morning and WOW! What a difference! He read the history out loud to me.. I helped a little when he got tired and read a paragraph here and there for him, but the reading level and length ended up being perfect. He completed the History Project box on his own and enjoyed it. We actually finished Unit 1 Day 1 within an actual day. I am so grateful for this advice. It is JUST what he needed...

HOORAY!!! I am so glad for both of you!!!

Thank you for sharing, as I think that sorting through placement is so important! Talking about it and how the right placement has been found helps others in that process with their dc. Being able to customize placement for each child/family/situation is one of my favorite bonuses of using HOD. There is not a 'one size fits all' kind of thought (and we all know typically 'one size fits all' kinds of things often wind up fitting no one - I am thinking of pj's I bought once actually ). Anyway, I am celebrating with you today, and praising God for His clarity He provided!

In Christ,
Julie

[my3sons]

...I am wondering, after what has been said here, if maybe Angie would do well with HOD if I took her back to Bigger in 6th. I have found it difficult to finish a guide in one year, so if she begins Bigger in 6th, by the time she would reach high school, she would probably be ready for CTC, similar to what Tracy is looking at doing. Even though we went through half of Bigger in 3rd, that was a difficult year all around, so I don't think repeating would be a bad thing. Although I am fine with what we are doing this year, I know I am going to need something more structured in the years to come. I want Angie to have a well-rounded curriculum, for my peace of mind, as well as for making sure she is reaching her potential... So, would going back to Bigger be a good solution?

Hi psreit! It is always good to 'see ya' here! From what you have shared here so far, my answer to your question is YES!!! I think that BHFHG would be a good placement for dear Angie, and I think the two of you could really grab hold of this path for the years to come, including the upper middle school and high school years. However, I would still always say that it is a good idea to check the placement chart with fresh eyes when the time comes to choose a guide to begin soon. That will give you the best overall information for placement. Certainly share those thoughts here when you reach that time, as Carrie and I feel personally invested in the dc and families on this board (plus we can picture Angie and still remember her sweet hugs and loving disposition).

In Christ,
Julie