Guilt about using HOD and not planning my own

[Motherjoy]

I've been using HOD for six years now. We've really enjoyed it, though I wish I were always able to use it exactly as written and execute it perfectly. The reason I came to HOD was because I could no longer plan my own curriculum, with my last 7 babies coming in 8 years, I just didn't have the time, energy, or clarity of mind to plan it out myself.. I felt, and still feel at times, completely handicapped in the area of organization and planning. I love reading CM blogs and seeing how beautiful and nicely the ladies seem to plan their homeschools, but I am utterly incapable of doing so. I had always thought that we would use HOD for all the kids, all the way through, but I'm feeling guilty for that, and I know that life doesn't always work out as planned.

I don't even know what I'm asking, except I'm wondering how realistic it is to consider using HOD for all the kids, all the way through. Will it work? Will I get bored? Will we cover everything I want or will I have to add in stuff?

[chillin'inandover]

MJ,
I am praying for you and your wonderful family of 8 kids. What a blessing! The Lord knows the plans and we can rest in that promise. Your children's education will be so rich because of the many opportunities they will have from their interactions with one another and completing their daily chores. No matter how you implement school, as long as Christ is the center He will fill in the details.
It seems you don't really have a question just needing some encouragement. Hopefully that is what my note will be. If we look to others their grass does look greener. Your grass will be green as long as you take care if it. Water with a daily dose of Bible, kind words, and a heaping of grace. Make sure you take the time to be with The Lord who will sustain you. It is a daunting task to raise children and to educate them. May The Lord sustain you.

[kidsforHim]

MJ,
I am praying for you and your wonderful family of 8 kids. What a blessing! The Lord knows the plans and we can rest in that promise. Your children's education will be so rich because of the many opportunities they will have from their interactions with one another and completing their daily chores. No matter how you implement school, as long as Christ is the center He will fill in the details.
It seems you don't really have a question just needing some encouragement. Hopefully that is what my note will be. If we look to others their grass does look greener. Your grass will be green as long as you take care if it. Water with a daily dose of Bible, kind words, and a heaping of grace. Make sure you take the time to be with The Lord who will sustain you. It is a daunting task to raise children and to educate them. May The Lord sustain you.

Thanks for those words! It helped ME. I only have 4(3 boys &1 girl) children living( we have 4 waiting in Heaven) but my thoughts can sure go 'round & 'round when it comes to school.
Again Thank You!!

[8arrows]

Don't feel guilty, just thankful! If you have already used HOD 6 years, you know it is preparing your children beautifully. MJ's post was perfect. I have often had to quit even looking at other boards. There are two in particular that just drain me of all love and enthusiasm for teaching. I don't believe most of the posters can possibly be doing well all that they are posting. There are simply not enough hours in the day no matter how many kids you have. If you are reading a board like that, QUIT! Less done well is MORE! Also, remember where your priorities lie. HOD spends time with Bible study, character, and training of our children. The other board I don't look at just stirs up dissension. If you are reading a board like that, QUIT! The ladies on this board are realistic, encouraging, helpful and kind. I have 8 children also. There are simply realities to that. You will not be able to do everything you dream of for the perfect school year. However, with 2 graduated now, I can also tell you that Jesus supplies the time for you to teach them exactly how he wants them to be taught. For us, HOD is a big part of that. I enjoy teaching with HOD. I combine when I can, and I don't feel guilty if I get most of it done well!!! HOD didn't have high school guides when I graduated my first two. It was a lot of work! I must admit, it has been a lot more fun teaching high school this time around with HOD. It also allows me to be Mom more. I can hand them a guide and say, "This is a reasonable amount of work for high school." AND, it is Carrie and crew that did the prep work, set the amount of work, etc. It frees me from that aspect and allows me to read, discuss, and analyze great literature in BIblical context with the children God has blessed me with.
No more guilt!

[LynnH]

I think homeschool moms are so prone to the grass is greener syndrome. I would just encourage you to enjoy the journey that God has placed you on. HOD is a wonderful and full curriculum, but more than that it draws our dc towards God, His Word and a Biblical worldview with each subject. There is not substitution of that. My dd came home for 10th grade and wasn't able to use HOD and so I planned all her schedule and I am at the opposite end of the spectrum from you. I can let myself feel remorse and guilt over the fact that her education wasn't near as full and Christ centered as that of my HOD using ds. Her high school years looks so bland compared to his, but again I have to remind myself that was where God put us so that is what we did. Having her now in college the important thing is that she spent those years home with us and we had time to discuss the things that are really important in life as she made her way towards adulthood.

[psreit]

I have not posted for a while, because I am on the opposite end of the spectrum. We had worked through part of Preparing this year and I ended up stopping partway through the year because my daughter has some serious deficiencies in her learning. I needed to simplify which means we would not be utilizing the guide to the extent that is intended. When I found HOD in 2010, I was so excited. It was a Godsend. I made up my mind that I was not going to use anything else. Well, we made it through LHFHG and Beyond. During Bigger, in 3rd grade (which is about the time learning disabilities begin surfacing), my dd began having a lot of difficulties. So, in despair, I stopped Bigger and began to look for help. I felt awful when I began thinking I had made a mistake. After all, I had said I wasn't going to stray form HOD After getting some help and understanding how I needed to help her, I decided to come back to HOD in 4th grade. That is when we did part of Preparing. Then I realized I needed to simplify. So, I thought I needed to do that apart from HOD. Again, I started regretting my decision because I....did you get that?....because "I" think HOD is a wonderful curriculum. From the start, I have appreciated the book choices and, most of all, how the Bible is so plainly interwoven in all of it. And I really like everything being planned out for me. I had decided we would come back this fall and do CTC. Well, that isn't going to happen. First of all, I can't come back because I like the curriculum. We still need to work through some things and focus in areas that would be overshadowed if I tried to use a guide. I would love to have dd do CTC, but the time has to be right. I am at complete peace about not using it this fall. We have a number of things to work on even outside of regular schoolwork. Although I would love to get back into a guide, I would be overwhelmed following one right now. So, will we be back? All I can say is that I hope so.

I said all that to encourage you to ask the Lord to give you peace, no matter what you use. Don't change because you think the grass is greener. It needs to be right for the child, not mom. I needed to hear from my evaluator again....teach the child, not the curriculum. I can't teach my dd what I WANT to teach, but what she NEEDS me to teach her. HTH

[Kims]

I have made myself crazy for about 6 months looking at curriculum catalogs. I have even bought several other curricula. I am done. I will stick with HOD as long as it works. If it stops I will do the next thing but I am NOT looking around again.

[Motherjoy]

See, this is the first year I've questioned. The past few years have been wonderful not worrying about what to buy or look at. Maybe it's just adding more students and not knowing how it's all gonna play out that ha me questioning.

Here's a question. I've been doing a "morning time" for awhile, usually doing catechism, character or manners. I want to expand what I'm doing with the entire family, so I thought I would add poetry to morning time, utilizing the poems in the Preparing guide and the Little Hearts guide. I'll have three kids in Preparing and one in Little hearts. I figure I'll just cover both poems each week with all the kiddos to save time.

[Nealewill]

I wonder if having all the littles and now they are all starting school is getting worrysome? I know I only have 3 but I work from home and everyday is a busy, busy, busy day for me. I used to plan my own thing until a couple of years ago. But last year I found HOD.

If it were me - I would make a list (yes I am a list maker) and think about what your goals are. I would see if HOD lines up with your goals. For me, I wanted my kids to read interesting books, make things with their hands, to have a very diverse education with learning about tons of different things, I wanted it balanced, I wanted them to enjoy school as much as possible (cause sometimes you just don't like what you are learning and that is just too bad LOL), I did not want a traditional schooling format and I wanted them to be prepared for college. These were my top things on my list. Then I went through and I read reviews on all of the different text books that they use. I had my own personal favorites and for me, HOD and actually lined up almost perfectly. However, some of my favorites weren't used and I had to pray that one out. For example, I know R&S is a good program but I had always envisioned using Analytical Grammar. After doing much research and seeing how language arts was done with HOD, I decided to follow their LA box and I abandoned my plan of using AG because I liked the whole English plan for HOD and it was very balanced (balance is EXTREMELY important to me and probably top on my list). In addition, I had been using a different math but my kids are transitioning to Singapore one at a time - basically they don't learn things in the same order and I just need to move them over once they learn enough that it would be smooth. And finally, I used a different spelling - my oldest is now moving to dictation because I think she learned enough with other program. My younger two are going to finish one more level of the other program and then move over (it will basically be the equivalent of them mastering the lists in Beyond and Bigger but things were done in a different order so it is easier to finish up the other level).

Are there things I would love to add in? Sure! But sometimes I just have to remind myself enough is enough. Before finding HOD, I felt like I would always add in these huge projects and tasks and then everyone else was miserable doing it. Or it was insanely work heavy on me to get it prepped and I just didn't feel like we maximized our learning from my workload effort. But I love that HOD is very balanced and that everyone seems happy with the projects they complete (or at least my oldest and my others will eventually be doing projects). No one is burnt out. We didn't spend an arm and leg on the project nor did it take all day to complete.

However, sometimes I will see something I want to add. I then just pray about it. HOD is wonderful because it truly is set up for 4 days a week and to be completed in 4-5 hours for middle elementary and junior high. For me, that is great and that is really all I want my kids doing. So if I want to add one thing in, I can do this on the 5th day. For us, we do a lot of stuff in addition to school. My kids play sports all year long - 1 sport per season per kid, we take piano lessons, my oldest takes voice lessons, my oldest also loves to act so she does dramas and plays, we do co-op once a week and we participate in AWANA (Bible memory club). For me, we can accomplish all of these things and my kids can get school done. Wow! This is great for me personally. I feel like if I were to put my own thing together, we would never get near the amount school accomplished because I wouldn't be a balanced day and I would never accomplish the volume that HOD accomplishes. HOD actually challenges me a little and I like it. I look at a lot of other programs and what I used to do myself and I know we would never have covered so much information and it wouldn't have been nearly as interesting. In addition, by piecemealing things together, I was always worried I would leaving something out. I don't ever feel like that with HOD. I know they have all their bases covered. I also love how HOD increase skills incrementally in each level. I found that was something I wasn't able to do so well - there was no balance for me here.

There is, however, is one thing that HOD doesn't include that I have always wanted to include and that is Latin. I had always envisioned my kids learning Latin. I did Latin through Classical Academic Press when my oldest was in 2nd grade and she did Song School Latin and loved it. Then in 3rd grade we went with their next level up. Fail! But now my oldest is in 5th grade. I am praying about adding it back this year but just don't know. I know with HOD my day is balanced and everyone is happy I love happy kids! My oldest is also learning to type this year. So I am just not sure I want to add in Latin this year with all that we do and I would hate overload my kids. I know with HOD, everything my kids have learned has been wonderful and they have learned so much! I think I only want my kids learn Latin because I learned it and wanted them to do the same. But I also want my kids to be happy as much as possible and to love to learn. And even if I did add in Latin, I don't know that they would retain as much as I would like, especially for all the effort that we put into them learning it. And finally - for High School, I am planning for them to learn Spanish with HOD. So if they are going to learn any Latin at all, now would be the time to do it. But I am still praying about it.

So I guess what I am saying is that I think HOD matches most of goals. I love their program. It has exceeded my educational expectations. I don't know if you will ever be bored with it or not. I know that rereading things multiple times may get tiresome but it looks to me like you will probably group your kids at some point so you wouldn't be reading it 7 times. At that point, I would enlist your husband if you can. Or, this year I have decided to record the chapter book story time books on CD (me reading them into a head set and recording it on my computer) and have my kids listen to them in their rooms. This will cut down on me reading the book multiple times. Plus, my kids love to listen to books on CD. I am thinking about doing that for all of the extension pack books too since my kids are books on CD junkies LOL. For me, this will help me not get bored and I think my kids going through each level are going to love it! To me, that is all that matters. I love the diversity and I love how much they retain from the learning. For us - this is our perfect fit and we are sticking with it. But I will pray for you and pray for your choices. Everything in life has a season. If you felt like you needed to take time off, you can always do that. People have done HOD, left and then come back just fine. If you need a break, I wouldn't even feel bad, just take it and reassess the placement chart in a year or so if and when you come back. And you may not even need a break for all of them. Maybe taking a break for some of them is all you need. But again, I am praying for your decision.

[MelInKansas]

Just to chime in - I was doing my kids' Bible time at the breakfast table, we would go through each child's memory verse and whatever discussion from the guide. I think doing poetry at that time (or as a group time) would work well too. I love the "morning meeting" idea, while it is really good that my kids are not all combined in their stuff, it is good to have part you're doing together.

[Rice]

Thank you, Motherjoy for starting this thread and for all who have contributed to it!

I'm a mom of 7 (though not so closely spaced) who has found my time totally consumed following another CM curriculum that I LOVED but required me to source all my own books, co-ordinate the different kids schedules and plan Canadian history to go along with it. It basically consumed my past 5 summers and now that I have 4 in school I just can't keep up. DH finally gave me the ultimatum: find something that requires less planning or. . . Thankfully, I was told about HOD last year (after my schedules were ready, so we finished this year) and we will thankfully step right in at CTC and LHFHG levels (beginning of history rotation in both places! Nice!). (So, I guess I'm where you were at 6 years ago!)

I had thought I'd use our previous curriculum all the way through, too, but sometimes circumstances come along that change our perspective or how things play out in our family, requiring change. But, having come from a more hands-on, intensively planning place, even though I was following a curriculum, my 2 cents is not to try for that at this point. Our family, our little ones need more of us, rather than more of our great schedules. Thankfully, another mom (bless her!) has taken the time to put together a wonderfully thought out, Christ-centered, balanced curriculum for us! I'm SO looking forward to joining you on this journey.

To address some of your questions more specifically, I think God will make it clear if this curriculum is not meeting the needs of one of your children. Yes, you may find you get the "itch to switch" and whether you follow that, looking for something new or whether you tough it out, reminding yourself of what brought you here in the first place (and I mean here to HOD as opposed to somewhere else, when you could no longer keep up the planning, not to remember why you were looking in the first place) is completely up to you, your support system (DH, kids, etc.) and God, to decide, if and when that time comes. As long as HOD is meeting your and your children's needs, there is no reason to look elsewhere, or to worry if you might need to look elsewhere in the future! I will pray that both you and I can find a place of peace and rest in Him who has brought us here (as I try the curriculum for the first time, wondering if it is right for us and you consider whether it is right for you for the long haul).

BTW, there is no need to feel guilty to use one curriculum all the way through, especially one as adaptable to each child's needs as a CM curriculum is!

Blessings,

[Gwenny]

Nealewill--how will you have the children listen to the story time books? Will you have them stop at certain intervals to match how much they should read in a day (like the 10 pages or whatever) or just listen to the whole thing? Do you understand my question?

[Nealewill]

For preparing and up, the story time books are broken down for you in the guide. All of the extension books are also broken down for you as well. I would read the extensions for Preparing up through MTMM and record those. I would have one track per day. And in CTC, I am thinking about using the boy and girl story time books as DITHOR books so I won't record those necessarily. So however many days that book is spread over is how many tracks I would have. And I wouldn't do this with the books that have lots of pictures. I would only do this with the books the chapter books that don't have many pictures. And even though my kids are listening to the books on CD, we would still have the discussion questions through the guide afterward. The other really nice thing about recording the books is that over the summer, my kids will sit in their rooms and play and they love to listen to books on CD. We usually get several from the library. But we are running out of books to borrow! They also like listening to the same book over and over again. So they will listen to the books and then re-listen as well. For me, recording the books is great. My kids are also enjoying reading more and more now. But they are very active and like to do things with their hands. So if my kids want to paint or build with legos, they like listening to books at those time.

[Gwenny]

Thanks Nealewill. Another question, are you using a certain program to do the books on cds? I'm totally illiterate about that stuff, so sorry if that's a silly question. My kids are audiobook junkies also. I'm also wondering if it's something I can set my mom up to do since she loves reading and has more time than I do.

[Nealewill]

My husband downloaded Audacity onto my PC. I have a noise cancelling headset. I think it cost around $20-$30.

Funny story. So my husband and I get everything set up to start for me to stat reading and recording the books on CD. And my hubby says, "It is too bad you can't make some money and sell your copies." So I am thinking, you know, that is good idea, I should look into what is involved in that. Well, I start the first book and I am reading ..... and there are words I don't know ..... and I am sound thing out LOL. I could edit the software but man! Some of the names in some the books are hard LOL. So needless to say, no one is going to buy this book on CD I am making. But my kids will enjoy it none the less!

And the sound quality is very good I would like to add. When you create the file, you can read a chapter at a time or however long you want. Once you stop recording, you can actually edit the file or record more if you wish. You can cut things or switch the order of stuff (not that you would need that necessarily). Then once you are finished you save the file in a special format. I am creating a file for each chapter. Once you have the book finished, or however much you want to finish, you will then "export" the file into an MP3 format. Also, we regularly download books to my iPhone to listen because need it in an MP3 format to listen into the card (even though I think iPhone saves it in an MP4 format?) I haven't tried to export the file into that the iTunes format directly because I want it on a CD first and that means it need to be an MP3 format. But you may be able to directly download into that format as well. And I am almost positive the software was free. My husband is a network administer and helps with video and audio stuff for a few non-profits. So he sometimes pays for things depending on the need. But again, I am pretty sure he said this software was free.