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[mom23]

We're running 3 guides right now, with a very distracting 2 yo in the house and I'm feeling very frazzled and overwhelmed. I find myslef frustrated with feeling like school is all we get done, and I have no time or energy left for life when school is over. We also ran 3 guides last year, and I was wondering why I was so much more stressed this year, when I realized that even then we did not run 3 guides successfully. I ran my youngest school-aged boy half speed, or some days 3 R's only, and we spread Preparing over 5 days, rather than 4. Plus, the toddler was less of a distraction last year. And, even at that, I remember last Spring exploring ideas to combine a couple of my kids for my own sanity's sake and because I felt like my boys would work well together-sharpening eachother. I gave up on the idea because I couldn't figure out how to make it work. I was also hoping my stress last spring was coming from moving and that when we settled into our new home things would feel more doable.

So, for this year, I feel like CTC with my 11 yo is going fairly well. She's appropriately challenged, and handling the independence well, with my check-ins to hold her accountable. She's often done with her "I" boxes and waiting for me to finish with her brothers in Bigger and LHFHG so that we can do her "T" boxes. I don't think cutting her back to half speed would help any of us.

My 4th grade ds (age 9) in Bigger is fairly well-placed; enjoys the History and Science very much, although he's often overwhelmed with the writing requirements and his reading is challenging (he has some eye-focusing issues that make those things laborious) and I question whether he'll be able to handle the Independence of Preparing next year. Bigger is taking us about 4 hours to complete, not counting Storytime or DITHOR (we cover those things at other times and I didn't calculate it as part of our "school time" this year.) He's completed LHFHG and Beyond already and did very well with those guides.

My nearly 7 yo is almost done with LHFHG. He's a little over halfway finished with TRL and although he's still doing the handwriting workbook, he's ready for more writing than he's doing now. He's finding LHFHG babyish. We've dropped the rhymes and the activities and are only doing the History, Bible, FMS, and Reading boxes from LHFHG right now. I would place him in Beyond if we were coming fresh to HOD. Unfortunately, my Beyond stuff is loaned out to a family member this year .) He's not at all ready for Bigger as written. He struggles with attention span and being able to focus on the task at hand (except for in Math, which he loves and is excelling at .)

So, I've spent lots of time this week in reflection on what's causing my stress and discouragement with homeschooling. I've briefly considered leaving HOD to explore something we could all do together, but I do. not. like. that option! I've considered enrolling them all in public school, but do not feel that's what God wants me to do. I know at the heart of the matter, I love homeschooling and this time with my kids, and would not trade the benifits for anything! I also know a completely frazzled Mama is not what God wants for my family and feel I need to try something to make things more doable for me. So, I'm back to exploring somehow making combining work with my 2 boys. I've spent lots of time tonight reading old threads on combining and the reasons behind HOD's choices, and I feel that I don't want to cut out any of the boxes within these guides-they are all important as we move ahead, and I certainly don't want to try another curriculum!

In reading one combining thread in particular, on how larger families make HOD work in their homes, as well as some private messages I'd received last Spring when considering combining, I'm now wondering whether I should slow down my child in Bigger to half speed, and begin to work my younger son towards being ready to combine with his brother in a year or so. That would put my older son in the extensions as we move forward to keep him on grade level, and hopefully my younger son would be ready to move forward with Bigger full speed in a year. What are your thoughts? Would this be a disservice to my 9yo, or unrealistic for my 7yo? Sorry this got so long! I've really got to work on expressing my thoughts with fewer words!

[MomtoJGJE]

I would absolutely cut the Bigger down to half speed in your situation.

This is frowned upon a bit, but I'm going to say it anyway. My current 1st grader was ready for Beyond well before I was able to start her on beyond (or really wanted to rather). So I doubled up some days. We still were getting done in minimal time, and she was still enjoying it. In fact, I think some days toward the end we did three days worth of left side. Whenever the history fit together well anyway. So on that note, maybe you do that 3 days a week with your LHFHG child, and do other random interesting things on the other days (since you don't have Beyond until after this year) and you cut Bigger down to half speed.

[mommyofmany]

If you have concerns about your 9yo son successfully moving into Preparing for 5th grade because of the writing, reading, and independence issues you listed- I think that trying to combine your almost 7yo and 9yo is your best (and really only) option for combining. It doesn't sound like combining the 11yo and 9yo at any point would be the best idea if she's properly placed in CTC right now and he's struggling at times to keep up with Bigger. I know I'm going to be in the same boat you are at some point- wanting to combine and trying to figure out how to make it work. My 4yo all of the sudden decided to start reading at a 1st-2nd grade level and I have no idea how her early acceleration is going to affect "my little plan" that I had all figured out! I'd say slow down Bigger for your 9yo right now for sure. Can you keep your 7yo. just moving along with grade appropriate LA and Math right now and have him listen in on big brother's Bigger History, Science, Bible, and Storytime. Really, those "other programs" are doing pretty much that self-same thing (teaching to the olders and letting the littles be along for the ride). While I know this is not what HOD is designed to do and agree with the philosophy to teach to the youngers and "beef-up" the older child's work- it sounds like that's not an option for you if your Beyond guide is being used by a (very blessed) family member this year. In future years you could be teaching more toward your 7yo's capabilities and "beefing-up" for the 9yo. For everything there is a season! I guess what I'm trying to say is- it's certainly not necessary to leave HOD in order to do what the "other curriculums" are doing with combining. And, it sounds like that's the last thing you want to do anyway! Keep praying for the Lord to show you how you can make homeschooling & HOD work for your family! I know He'll answer!! <3

[farmfamily]

Do you think your 7 year old could handle Bigger half-speed or even 1/3 speed now if you dropped the cursive & did math either full or half-speed at the level he's at? I sit with my seven year old in Bigger for all her notebooking & all her English to keep her on task. In the beginning she often asked me what the Eggleston books meant, and I would only explain it to her when she asked about something. Now she rarely asks, but I think her comprehension is good - she just had to get used to the language of it. I think I read somewhere that Bigger half speed is less work than Beyond full speed. I'm not sure if that is true. Your older son could do the the right side of the guide (except science) full-speed, and if you thought his history/science was too light at any point he could read the extensions (or you could read them aloud to both). You could spread Bigger for this pair over 1 1/2 or 2 years if they needed it. Your older one would gradually get further ahead than the guide in English and math, but I think that is fine - it will keep him on level.

Just an idea. It wouldn't work if your younger one struggles with writing, because that would probably be the biggest jump for him. I suppose there is a big step in listening skills too.

I know it's tough going from uncombined to combined. I did it with my girls (now 7 &9), and my oldest ended up repeating a total of 20 units in HOD to be with her sister. I tried to make it as different as possible with her, but I'm still glad that's over. I am very glad we did combine since it makes less work for me. Also I think in certain things like vocabulary, a certain friendly rivalry makes my oldest (who was always a perfectionist and slow to do her work) work more quickly. And they enjoy doing projects & activities together. Personality is important too. My younger dd is very easy going and doesn't seem to be troubled at all by having her notebook be less impressive than her sister's.

In your case your kids are a little older than mine when I decided to combine. I think the Bigger and Preparing are the "hump" years in terms of the amount of work for you. I agree with the pps that it sounds like a good idea to slow down your Bigger child whether you try to combine or not. That alone would make your day less hectic.

[raceNzanesmom]

I'd go ahead and finish LH with your 7 y/o, doing it how it works for you. Then, if he/you aren't ready for Beyond, or you don't have it available, just stick with 3 Rs at his level, read him good books (you could do Beyond books that you won't be doing next year), let him listen in with the others without "assignments", participate with science experiments, etc. He can narrate storytime, write stories with or without prompts, continue his reading lessons, etc. I think this would be a full remainder of the year and reduce your stress a bit.

Slow Bigger down to a pace that works for you. I did Bigger, and now Preparing, at a reduced speed that wasn't really half speed. We did/do the 3Rs everyday (math, reading, spelling and/or grammar). Then we do whatever else we can get done. I have a laminated checklist where I mark off as we go. Whatever we didn't finish on day 1 we start with on day 2. I turn the page in the guide once it's complete and we begin again. This works really well for us.

For the 2 y/o, make sure you have time together each day, and activities specific for the toddler during "school". I care for a 17 m/o 4 days a week. We read and snuggle each morning. During school he likes to sit at the table and color with color wonder markers, push cars around, eat snacks, put magnets in the letter factory, chunky puzzles, stack blocks, etc. He is strapped into his booster so that keeps him a bit contained. We do reading and spelling during his nap, because ds needs it quiet. I often read storytime during lunch, so he's occupied during that time too. ETA: When he gets antsy in the booster he plays on the floor; when he gets into mischief on the floor he gets in the booster. We also take plenty of play breaks where we sing, dnace, go outside,etc. Even 5 minutes helps. I have his 4 and 5 y/o sisters here too. They need breaks and movement.

hth. Whatever you decide make sure to pray about it.

[holdinon]

It sounds as though the biggest issues are related to the Bigger guide. Four hours is a bit long for that guide, especially considering that isn't including storytime or Dithor. I think I'd probably take a look at that piece of the puzzle first, and then go from there. I know you said you looked at the scheduling threads, so you've probably seen this, but just in case....here are times for the various boxes for Bigger. (These were originally posted by Carrie, but I found ours to be right on these times as well).

Cursive = 5-7 minutes

Drawn into the Heart of Reading 20-30 min. total (including reading time - we only read one chapter a session)

Math = 20 minutes

Reading About History Box (8-10 min.), Bible Study Box (5- 10 min.), and Bottom left corner box of "Learning Through History" (15 min.) done in one sitting totaling 35 min. (Note: Art days take a little longer.)

Dictation (5 min.), Poetry (5-10 min.), Rod and Staff English (10-15 min.), and Storytime (15 min.- We read aloud only one chapter a day. Some moms do more!) done in one sitting totaling 35 min.

Hymns at lunch (5-10 min.)

Science (after lunch - 15-35 min.- depending on whether there's an experiment or a notebooking entry or just oral narration)


I'd start by seeing what may be "off" as it relates to the above, then seeing what may can be done about that to make the day flow smoother. It very well may be that it would be wise to go half speed with Bigger.

It sounds like dd is doing well with the independence in CtC. You mentioned she is often waiting for you to finish with the others to do the T boxes. She may enjoy that natural break in her day, but if she is frustrated with the wait, you may could begin with her and the T boxes. Depending on what time your school day starts, she may could be done in time to get lunch ready for you and the little guys, freeing up a bit more of your time. (This may not be feasible, depending on your lunch menu---we keep ours very simple, and my 5th/6th graders get lunch ready and clean up the kitchen afterwards....otherwise, I would have long since gone crazy . Or, if not lunch, there may be something else she could do the build in more time for you.



We have combined in the past and found that it takes much longer than splitting up. (I know many, many though who do combine with fantastic results....so I certainly wouldn't say you shouldn't combine....Combining may very well be optimal for you, , but I do think that it's worth taking a really good look at your current schedule (particularly as it relates to Bigger) before doing so.

Bigger is by far the most teacher intensive guide. There is so much happening with dc during that guide, both academically, and maturing-wise. And, of course, no one has to tell you that having a two year old cutie pie around while schooling is an interesting time to say the lease . So, hang in there. You are likely in the most difficult year of homeschooling yet. The good news is that it gets so much easier. (At least in logistics ).

[Carrie]

mom23,

The ladies are doing a wonderful job of helping you talk through your options, so I'm going to offer one more suggestion in this mix for you to ponder. This suggestion is a bit on the unique side, but I can honestly see it working better for you in the long haul than trying to hustle your younger child through Beyond while your Bigger child treads water doing just the 3R's for over a year. It can be so challenging to school with a busy toddler/preschooler in the mix, which is part of what is making your schooling a challenge. With this in mind, and the fact that this little one will be a lovable distraction in the mix for awhile, I would lean toward having your 9 year old bump back down to join your 7 year old in a trip through Beyond. I know your 9 year old just finished Beyond, however with your 7 year old being so ready for it, it is often wise to combine an older child at the level where the younger child is, rather than pulling a younger child up to always be towed along behind a older child.

Since you are struggling already to get DITHR and Storytime from BIgger in your 9 year old's day, and Bigger is already taking you a lot longer than we'd like simply due to the writing challenges and possibly is affected by some eye issues your 9 year old has, then it makes sense to bump that child back into Beyond where the writing load is less and the time overall to teach it is less for you. This will allow you to devote needed time to DITHR daily for your 9 year old and will solve your Storytime issue as you'd combine your 7 and 9 year old for that in Beyond. Choosing a different set of books to read aloud for the Storytime in Beyond will solve the problem of any repetition there for your 9 year old in Beyond.

For your 9 year old, in this move to Beyond, I would keep going daily with Rod and Staff English, studied dictation, and Cheerful Cursive from Bigger. I would also keep going with your chosen math and do DITHR daily for your 9 year old as expected in Beyond. I would encourage you to additionally require daily copywork from poetry in Beyond in manuscript (even just a couple of lines a day) for your 9 year old to build his writing muscles.

This plan would allow you to keep the kiddos combined for the long haul and meet them both pretty closely to where they are at, since Bigger is a bit of a stretch for your 9 year old and LHFHG is a bit easy for your 7 year old.

I would do Beyond as written with your 7 year old and add the things I noted from Bigger for your 9 year old, not rushing through it to get to Bigger too early. I would savor the repeat time with your older child in Beyond as time to build his 3 R's and strengthen his fine motor skills daily. I believe this plan will save your sanity in the long haul and make school a joy once again!

I would tell your family member (to whom you so graciously loaned your HOD materials) that due to a change in your plans you are in need of your Beyond Economy Package, science book, devotional, and music CD back. Then, I would purchase a new set of Storytime books to make that fresh. Your family member has likely had enough time to see whether she likes HOD enough to invest something in it. The Economy Package and the science, devotional, and music CD required to complete Beyond are not expensive (around $106 for all of those materials combined)! She could be allowed to keep your storytime set for now (which will save her money).

I pray God's grace and wisdom on you as you seek His best for your homeschool. In looking down the road, I think this plan makes the most sense for the long haul. If you ever feel like your older child of the pair makes huge gains and is ready for more, you could always consider bumping that child forward a guide in coming years if needed.

Blessings,
Carrie

[mom23]

Thank you, everyone, for your responses and ideas! Carrie, I can honestly say that was a suggestion that had not entered my mind at all! Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I will continue to pray about what direction we should go for the remainder of this year and into the future. I do want to clarify that we are covering the Storytime and DITHOR portions, just not in our "school time" setting. We read Storytime at bed, and since we school year-round, we're trying something new this year with running the guides for 6 weeks or so, and then a concentrated, 2-week unit of DITHOR (along with math, spelling, and grammar). I haven't done that long enough to know if I really like it, yet, but I will admit that it frees up some pressure during the 6 week guide studies. I will say that I'm feeling my 4th grader needs more daily time with reading practice, so however we slow down here-whether returning to Beyond, or Bigger half speed, his days will include at least some reading time to keep his skills fresh and moving forward.

ETA: Holdinon, this:

"Bigger is by far the most teacher intensive guide. There is so much happening with dc during that guide, both academically, and maturing-wise. And, of course, no one has to tell you that having a two year old cutie pie around while schooling is an interesting time to say the lease . So, hang in there. You are likely in the most difficult year of homeschooling yet. The good news is that it gets so much easier. (At least in logistics )."

was so encouraging to me! I think I needed that permission to be struggling right now. To know that it's not a flaw in me that is making our 4th year homeschooling the most difficult one, yet; and that things should be looking up in the future, if I can hang on through this time!

[raindrops]

I actually laughed when I read Carrie's suggestion to get your Beyond guide and books back... because like mom23, that option seemed out of question- but it is likely the way to go. It is funny how we feel we can't ask for our own stuff back once loaned out. Well, I hope that works out alright.

Best wishes!

[deltagal]

I didn't read any of the other posts. I only read the original one. But I remember well when I was where you are and this season will pass much too quickly. Here's my quick and easy check list...

Focus on:
1.) Scripture
2.) Good habits
3.) Reading, Writing and Arithmetic
4.) Read rich literature to them either in person or via audio books.

[my3sons]

I am just reading through all of this, and first off - I wish I could give you a hug! Toddlers are actually, IMO, the most difficult age of dc to homeschool with. They are busy, bundles of energy that need much attention! 3 years old... 4 years old... every year gets better. However, we need to deal with the here and now too. So, I definitely think it makes complete sense to combine your 2 dc in Beyond Little Hearts for His Glory, and utilize Bigger Hearts for any LA/math that is working well already. I'd ask for your things back, as this has been enough time for your family/friend to try it out. HOD could work with her on a payment plan. Or, if you were briefly considering switching curriculums - PLEASE don't BTW - maybe spend some money to 'gift' your friend/family with the Beyond guide. Then, she could cover the rest - Beyond is not an expensive program, and you could share Storytime books if she's close enough.

Another thought I'd had, do you have a day off each week? If not, this may be a good time to do so. A 4 day week, when I had a toddler, was such a blessing! That fifth day became my day I did all that other "mom and wife and woman" stuff I had to do (i.e. appointments, groceries, laundry). Or, I'd sleep in a little longer, wear my pj's a little longer, take more time to do things, put on some music, etc.). Anyway, a fifth day to take off and enjoy may be well worth it right now.

One more thought - every time I had a toddler reach that busy, busy mobile into everything stage - I was taken by surprise. Even when it was my third son. It was always when I was all of a sudden dog tired feeling like I was dragging that I suddenly realized I had to plan the toddler's day more. So, that leads me to my next question - have you planned your toddler's day? The toughest part of this, for me, was always that the plans for my toddler had to change every 20-30 minutes. I would give this a go. I am trying to remember what I planned? I know I enlisted my older 2 dc's help with my 3rd ds when he was a toddler. I'd for sure have your other dc each take 20-30 minute playtimes with the toddler. Snacks - mid-morning and mid-afternoon. A daily 30 minute video time (I know everyone may not agree with me on this, so if you don't, certainly skip this). Does he take a nap? Does he have a safe place to play a bit independently within earshot of you? I know you've read the "what to do with your toddler" threads before, but maybe it would help to revisit them? I know it helped me with Emmett. I'd try to plan out toddler's day in 20-30 minute increments, jot them down, and note what is and what is not working, subbing in new things for the not working things until you are having success.

Otherwise, half-speed Bigger Hearts is a possibility. What do you think about all this? I am hoping something can help here. I know this is just a stage, and it too shall pass. In the meantime, I think some of these little things could make a big difference. I will also pray for you!!!

Love in Christ,
Julie

[mom23]

Florence and Julie, thank you both so much for your encouragement and input. Florence, it is so good to know that others before me have struggled successfully through this time and that I can learn from your experience and give myself permission to slow down and just cover the basics on those really hard days. Julie, I really think you are on a key point with my toddler not being on a successful schedule. That is definitely the area that I have not yet been able to figure out. The activities I tried did not occupy him, I do not seem to have a safe place for him to play out of trouble-he is bent on finding trouble wherever he is, it seems these days. I've considered pulling the playpen back out-although he has "outgrown" it-in the sense that he's too tall to lay down in there, even corner to corner, I don't think he could crawl out of it...he is a very persistent screamer, though, and we know from experience it is very, very difficult to get school done above the screaming. He does like to watch Thomas the Train...for about 10 minutes if I'm lucky. The 6 yo does not play well with him, and I can't get school done if the older 2 are not there to work on it. I came to a realization last week that I was always pushing my toddler away, trying to get "important" things done. I cannot waste these years of his life that way-he is important, too! I feel that for a season I need to slow down some other areas to be able to meet his needs, as well.

Here's what I've done the past couple of weeks: Continued my dd full speed in CTC, but I've moved all of her teacher subjects first-we start the day with Geography or Genesis, and Grammar/WWTB, followed by dictation. Then she goes on to her math and completes her independent work. I end the day by checking back on the things she did and assigning a grade-that's a way that seems to keep her motivated to do her best without my having to nag her when directions aren't followed completely, or an assignment was not done. I've slowed my middle son down to half speed in Bigger and allowed my 1st grader to sit in on the History, Science, Art project, Bible Study, Music, Poetry. He is able to complete some of the assignments and enjoys it. In slowing down my middle son I've really focused on chances to improve his reading and writing skills so that he will be ready and able to handle the independence of the next guide, as well as the extensions if it seems like I will be able to combine him with is younger brother longer term. My soon to be 7yo is working on finishing up the FMS lessons from LHFHG, and TRL, and his own level of math. I've also started him on the spelling list from Beyond. At this point I really felt my academic priority needed to be moving forward with my 9yo on his skills-he needs these things that Bigger is giving him! I felt that going back through Beyond with him, while I can see it perhaps being more ideal for the 7yo, would not give the 9yo the challenge he needs in his writing, especially, but also his comprehension skills, and increasing independence with notebooking or vocab assignments. When we did Beyond I did not modify anything for him whatsoever, he very capably handled all that it asked of him and was ready for more. Asking him to repeat Beyond simply did not feel right for him at all right now.

So, slowing down to half speed Bigger and dropping much of LHFHG has given me much more freedom and time to take care of my home and other members of my family, as well as keeping up with responsibilities at church as the "new pastor's wife". The other change I've made with school right now is to switch my older 2 kids over to Teaching Textbooks for math-it means that I don't have to sit there with them for the whole lesson and has freed me up considerably. Hopefully, we'll find it to be benificial to their mathematical abilities!! Thanks to all of you for your advice and encouragement! I truly appreciate and value your insights.

[MelInKansas]

I am right there with you on the toddler troubles. My son is a totally different kind of person than my daughters were at his age, and of course the amount of time I need to focus on school with the older ones is a lot more now too.

I have taken some of the advice on here and tried to schedule my son's day. The things that are successful (sometimes): blanket time for him to play with some fascinating toys. This took training, and right now I am in a season of re-training him in it again, then it takes up some of your time, but when he is "trained" or doing well with it, it is 15 minutes or so that he is playing happily, not getting into anything, within earshot but not right in front of me asking for my attention. My 6YO does play well with her brother, and when I finish working with her she plays with him, this can give me 20-30 minutes before he tires of that. He watches a video. This is the only thing he will pay attention to consistently for more than 5 minutes at a time. We go with Leapfrog or educational videos from the library. Today we did the project in Beyond - Unit 7 day 5 - where you trace around their upper body and have them decorate it, with Psalm 139:14 written on a piece of paper in the pocket. My son just HAD to be traced around, and then he wanted to color with the markers so badly! So I let him do it. Washable, right? He was wearing a very dark blue shirt. He actually stuck a marker up his nose, and in his mouth, but boy was he happy at the table with us for about 10 minutes and most of it washed right off. It's always the things they never get to have that hold their attention.

My son also loves the "bean box" (he says "bee box"). It is filled with pinto beans along with spoons, measuring cups, etc and I give him a muffin tin that I ruined to put his beans into. It makes a big mess that probably takes a minute or two to clean up (with one of the older sister's help) but he will play with it sometimes for more than 5 minutes quite happily. The length I go to for 5 minutes.... sigh.

I wanted to just let you know that I share your pain. My only saving grace right now is that my son likes to sleep in (after his 3:30 AM visit from Mommy) so as much as possible I get the girls into school before he even gets up. Then he gets up and my pace on working on school slows down considerably. I know exactly what you are talking about in always shushing your son or pushing him away while trying to do school. I have caught myself doing that with my 4YO especially and then I feel so terrible for not meeting her needs or giving her my attention too. She really sees school as a way to get Mommy's attention.

I pray you can find some ways to make the day run more smoothly, or just give yourself the grace to do what you can and leave the results up to Him.

[MomtoJGJE]

It is much easier once the toddler gets more verbal. So time helps a lot... even just in 6 months you'll be in a better place in regards to the toddler.

And a tip about cleaning up the bean box.... put a tarp/shower curtain down first and the box in the middle of it. You can pick up the tarp and pour the spilled beans back into the container. Then you can just fold up the tarp into the box after he's done playing for the next time.

I'll be glad when Penelope gets big enough for that kind of entertainment. Right now she sits in her walker screaming for more food while we are getting started with school. Once we get started she's ok, but that first 15 minutes is not so good. This is why I take time off school when I have a newly walking baby instead of a newborn! But I want to get to Thanksgiving at least.